


Ultraviolence

by AshesandLashes



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Begging, Choking, Dream Sex, F/M, Light Bondage, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sexual Abuse, Slavery, Spoilers, Violence, Whipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-05-10 06:11:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5573811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshesandLashes/pseuds/AshesandLashes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was taken as a child, forced to be a slave for the First Order. Broken, tired, and used, she can't even be sure she's even human anymore until the moment Kylo Ren forces his way into her life. And then nothing is the same. **REwrite in progress**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Judgement

Ultraviolence

by: AshesandLashes

 

~~

 _You leave me hanging out here for so long_  
_When will I catch my breath_

~~

 

 

I woke to the sound of the other girls starting their day, slipping on their clothes that would make them look desirable to the men of the base but I made no move. I stared at the rough stone above my bunk, wishing it would break off and fall on me, ending my miserable life. But just like every other morning for the past four months, it stayed still, crumbling in tiny pieces that pelted me in the middle of the night instead. The door to the cell slid open and the nine other girls in the bunk stood up straight and greeted our Mother Madame in a cheerful round of 'hello's. The knot that I was ignoring in my stomach tightened and I glanced to left. I could see a few of the girls glancing at me, wondering if today would be the day I had finally snapped.

I didn't have time to sit up before a small, black rod shot out to my left and whacked my wrist as it laid at my side. I winced and held my bruised arm to my chest as Mother Madame's plump face appeared. "Sleepin' in are we? Or are you just avoidin' your judgement?" She smirked her fat, ruby lips and took a step back so I could slip out of my bunk. From behind her, the other girls had went back to their business, only occasionally glancing our way, begging for something juicy to gossip about for the rest of the day.

They were like vultures circling a dying animal, waiting to begin their pecking. None of them cared for me, and a few made damn sure I knew it every day that I was there. I rose out of bed and barely caught the clothes Mother threw at me. "Change quick. You've got a busy day." I slipped the loose fitting black pants and tunic on as quickly as I could but still she frowned in disapproval. I waited to be berated for keeping her waiting but instead, she gave a grunt and lead me out of the cell door.

I had only been on this base for a few months, even though it was just like the others. Dark, sleek designs, meant to intimidate, meant to remind you of how evil these men were and how badly they could hurt you. We turned into the inspection corridor and the first door on the right slid open with a 'swoosh' sound. I stumbled in and glanced at the two droids situated on either side of a tub of water. "Bathe." Mother instructed, busying herself at the screen on one of the droids.

Stripping off my clothes, I settled into the lukewarm water and used the rag they had provided to wash my body and hair. "You ought to be more grateful, girl." I stared at the rotund woman in disbelief. I hadn't said anything or even given a grunt of disapproval since I had been there. She had disliked me from the beginning, just like all the rest. Was it because I was General Vas's favorite? The other's were for the soldiers, the lesser ranked men, but I was always taken straight to his quarters. I hadn't been anywhere else since I had arrived. 

"I am grateful." I said as I twisted my dark hair, wringing it free of excess water. I stood and took the black towel from one of the droids. In truth, we were taken care of. What was the point in keeping a harem of malnourished, broken girls? General Vas made sure we were fed, bathed, and kept alive, even if at the bare minimum.

"Scale." Mother grunted and pointed to a black square tile on the floor. She snatched the towel from me and tossed it on the table, leaving me shivering in the cold, sterile environment. Before I came here, I had been at another base, another harem of stolen girls. There I had gotten so sick that they moved me into a room at the infirmary so I wouldn't infect anyone else. It was always cold, always quiet, no one spoke to you unless it was to order you to turn, sit up, or lay down. It felt like that here, all the time. Even our bunks where we could attempt to make them our own felt like that lonely hospital bed.

"You've gotten fat." Blinking in surprise, I glanced down at myself. My ribs poked out beneath my flesh and I could see my hip bones. "Fat? I'm barely eating already."

"Gained two since before your cycle." Mother tapped at the screen, her mouth folded down into a disapproving frown. She looked like a toad, squat and fat. She spun in her chair and pinched at the flesh across my belly, pulling it painfully toward her. We had a week after our cycles to be judged by Mother. She would inspect between our legs, made sure we weren't still bleeding, and tell us what we were doing wrong. "I'm decreasing your rations by a quarter. If you gain anymore, you'll be sent to the infirmary for an examination. No one wants a pregnant girl." My stomach dropped at that word and I began shivering for an entirely different reason than the cold. I had only known one girl who had gotten pregnant. She had been at the last base. They took her for an exam and never brought her back. The other girls all had their dreams that they would be let free to live on some farming planet but I wasn't that naive. There was no freedom after this.

I grabbed my towel and wrapped it back around my body but it did little to stop my shaking. The droid who stood behind me rolled closer and produced a brush. Mother pushed me toward the chair where my hair was assaulted by the comb. Despite my tangles, the droid continued to pull until the next three rounds were free of any. It divided my hair into four sections and twisted them until I had a braid settling at the bottom of my back. The other droid circled around the table and produced a series of makeup pallets on its computer screen.

Without even glancing at any of them, Mother tapped at it and the droid's sprayer appeared. I closed my eyes just in time before my makeup was applied. I hated the way it sat on my face, heavy and oily, like a second skin. "Commencing hair removal." My eyes widened and I glanced at Mother.

"Already? It's only been three days."

"Hair grows fast, girl. Besides, General Vas," She said his name with a emphasis of disgust and I knew then she hated me for being his pet, "has a new request."

"What request?"

The droid's tools appeared with a shark click and I started, unable to wrap my head around what he could possibly want from me now. "It ain't just your legs this time, girl." Mother grinned as the droid inched forward. She followed behind and ripped the towel out from under me, nearly making me tumble to the floor. I glanced down at my lap, brows furrowed in horror and confusion. The droid's razor sharp lasers whirred to life as my legs were forced apart by Mother's cold, meaty hands. I couldn't help the tears that rolled down my cheeks.

 

* * *

 

 

General Hux's boots echoed as they thumped down the base's hallway. He was in no mood to deal with the buffoon of a general like Vas but he would never disobey orders from the Supreme Leader. Vas had managed to create the top recruiting base in all of the First Order and a congratulations was in order. His style was different than what Hux would suggest, but he couldn't deny General Vas had his ways.

Promising a life of dark desires and endless pleasures, Vas had recruited entire planets for the Order. Women gave their children with happy tears in their eyes, men were over joyed to break their backs on any new construction. Families would rip themselves apart with a 'yes, sir' at Vas' order. He hated to admit it but, Hux knew that Vas had a real power over people.

From beside the general, Kylo Ren marched in long strides, his expressions hidden behind the mask he wore. Though he had seen his face before, Hux preferred the mask. He hated the way he looked at him, like he was a stuttering, stupid child.

They turned the corner to the control room where at least fifty of Vas' soldiers sat under his order. Hux tried hard to control his surprise as he glanced around the room until his eyes landed on the back of General Vas' broad shoulders. He was nearly a head taller than either of the two men standing at the doors, and twice as wide. "Sir." They heard a small voice say under breath and Vas turned. His dark eyes fell on Hux and he nodded in recognition. "Welcome, General Hux, Kylo Ren. We're honored to have you visit our humble base."

Shocked, Hux gave small, curt nod of approval. The last he had seen of Vas, the man had two slave girls on either side of him, feeding him copious amounts of alcohol and a various assortment of fruits. He seemed to have matured since then. Before Hux could say anything in return, the behemoth before him broke out into a grin. "You Empire boys are all alike! So cold, so boring!" Ah, it would seem he hadn't changed much at all. "We just pulled in ten thousand and here we are, acting as if we're strangers discussing the weather! We should be celebrating." Vas clapped Hux on the shoulder, jarring the man back a bit. He stumbled and glanced at the masked man at his side.

Kylo Ren took a long moment to stare at Vas before turning to Hux. Even with his mask on, Hux could sense the dubious expression on his face. "Yes, well," Hux straightened to his full height and smoothed his uniform down his chest. "the recruitment ceremony will be in a week. We shall have our celebrations then." Vas scoffed and waved him off. He threw his arm around Hux, spinning him toward the door. Vas was careful not to look or even touch Kylo Ren as they turned toward the hallway beyond the control room. "We've prepared your rooms, you'll be taken care of by the best and when I say the best." Vas turned to them both this time, taking a second longer to stare at Kylo Ren's mask. "I mean the best. Feel free to take advantage of all I can offer you."

General Vas marched Hux on, never taking his enormous arm from the back of his shoulders. The two turned down another hallway, leaving the masked man behind them a bit. A door opened down a narrow hallway and Kylo glanced its way, unable to decide why. A woman nearly double his size in width lumbered out followed by two droids and another girl. She was thin, almost sickly. He stopped his steps and stared down as they walked in the opposite direction.

Lifting an arm, Kylo waved his hand and the girl stopped in her tracks. She was dressed in a loose tunic and pants that he had seen a few slaves wore on other systems. Slowly, the girl turned, her eyes wide, brows furrowed. She moved her eyes from the floor, slowly up the hallway until they fell on his mask. He could hear the tiny gasp escape her lips echo loudly in his mind. Kylo studied her as the fat woman and droids hurried on, paying no attention to the frozen girl. "Stop." She whispered, the voice as loud as a siren to him. He dropped his hand and watched as she stumbled back against the wall.

The woman spun at the sound and hurried back to her. She raised the rod at her side and struck the smaller woman across the thighs several times, berating her for being an insolent girl. Even through the beatings, the girl kept her eyes on him. He turned and marched after Hux and Vas, struggling to make sense of her sudden presence in his head.

* * *

 


	2. In The Night

Ultraviolence

by: AshesandLashes

~~~

~~~

_In the night she hears him calling_   
_In the night she's dancing to relieve the pain_

~~~

 

In The Night:

 

 

My skin burned, sore from the lasers that seared my flesh and hair all for his pleasure. I felt like a fool, like I had been stripped of my womanhood and forced into a child's body. Standing there, in front of him as he stared at me hungrily, I couldn't help wonder if he wished I were a little girl. I was certainly the youngest of his collection but it had been at least six years since I started my cycle.

My mother had been married two years after hers...

I rolled toward the wall in my bunk, my thighs tender and aching from his groping hands. He had been especially rough today, over excited that I was exactly what he wanted now. I had stayed the night in his room, something I usually enjoyed but not last night. I returned to the harem before he woke, thankful that I would be left alone for the most part. A few girls had scoffed as I tried to sneak past them unseen. I ignored their whispers and laid down closing the curtains to my bunk, keeping my mind on only one image.

From General Vas' chambers I could see the planet that lay beyond the base. On the horizon, beyond the ships and massive weapons ready to fire at any resistance, was a forest. Bright green and tall, trees towered over the land the First Order had destroyed to build their base. Even in the light of the two half-moons, I could see how thick and lush it was, just like home. From the first time I saw it, I would stand at the windows for hours in the night while my abuser slept.

I wanted nothing more than to escape, than to run across the cold, steel of the base until my feet touched nothing but moss and grass.

Squeezing my eyes shut I brought my hand over my ears to drown out the chatter and incessant noise behind me. I took myself to the forest, imagining the sunlight streaming in through the leaves and branches. It had been so long since I had felt warmth from a sun. I wanted to bathe naked in it, wanted to sleep on the mossy ground. I had only been a child the last time I had felt the forest around me but it called to me now.

I pictured the sun, the trees, babbling water from a nearby stream. I could feel my body warm just at the thought of it all. But deep in my imaginary forest, I was not alone. The sun had set, leaving me in darkness but I could see him. Shrouded in black with a hood over his masked face, I could feel him before I saw him. The man from the hallway who made me tremble in fear. No. I wasn't afraid.

I was afraid of Mother Madam, afraid of Vas....This was...different.

I sat on the ground and stared at him. He circled around me from the trees, keeping his distance. The moonlight lit his path on the forest floor but kept him bathed in darkness. My body shook as I stood to my feet, naked before him. Despite his mask, I knew he was studying me, his eyes roving over every inch of my nakedness. I pressed my hands to my stomach, no longer sunken in from hunger. I was who I used to be, who I should be still.

My hands slid across my body, one to my breasts, kneading them with my palm as the other slipped between my legs. He never stopped his predatory circling. I could feel him behind me, watching. My fingers dipped between my folds and I gasped at the sensation of desire that poured through me. It had been a long time since I had felt anything close to this and I couldn't stop. Eyes shut tight, I felt my pulse quicken, my breath fast and shaky. I was close, thinking and feeling nothing but his gaze on me from under that mask. Sweat dripped from my throat to my breast and a finger that was not my own traced it's path down my chest.

Gasping, my eyes snapped open and I could only see the stone wall of my bunk, the chipped rock as familiar as my own hands. I couldn't catch my breath as I wove my hands through my hair. My body was drenched in sweat just like in my dream. I stared down at my self, fully clothed. The space above my breasts, right beneath my collar bone seared just as it did in my dream as if a stranger had traced a line down from my neck.

Had I even fallen asleep? I couldn't remember a dream ever being so real and so...I was afraid to admit that I liked it. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I wish I hadn't woken up.

* * *

 

  
It was the next day before I managed to step out from the shadows of my bunk. Most of the other girls were gone, off to the private rooms most of the soldiers used. They lived in communal bunks like us, not a lot of privacy for the things they wanted to do. I had never been in them, but from what the others describe they were nice.

I had to wonder how General Vas could manage his First Order duties when he was obviously so obsessed with sex and decadent things. Surely they didn't allow this sort of thing. He was never modest about his accomplishments and told me in great detail how great of a general he was. He was renowned for his captivating speeches, his persuasions for people to devote their lives to his orders. Maybe his successes were so great the Order looked the other way when it came to his habits.

He was proud of his abilities, that I could tell. I couldn't see why though. I followed his orders because I had to. He promised me everything he could in the heat of the moment but never delivered on them. He would whisper to me while he was deep inside me that I would live a life of luxury with him. He would build me a palace, give me everything I wanted! But in the morning? I returned to my bunk, no wealthier than I was before.

If I weren't his prisoner I wouldn't want a thing from him.

I rose from my bed and stretched my hands above my head, still unable to shake the feeling of my dream from my mind. Usually over time, my dreams become cloudy like I'm looking through heavy fog but not this one. It was still as fresh in my mind as it had been seconds after I awoke from it. My chest still burned from the imaginary touch. I shook my head and moved toward the baths.

I longed for the steam and searing water to burn away the feeling of Vas' grip on my flesh. I grabbed clothes and a towel before making my way from the room. A few girls were huddled together, giggling as they swapped stories of their soldiers. Most had been born into slavery, and a few loved every minute of it. They loved being spoiled and took the bad with a grain of salt.

I rolled my eyes at them and twisted the water to its hottest setting. It wasn't long before steam filled the entire room, making my lungs ache from the moisture. I loved the heat, craved it in this cold building. I tried to think about how long it had been since I had been outside and sunk my body into the scalding bath. My skin prickled at the heat, soothing the aches out of my muscles.

I leaned back, pulling my hair into a swirling mess on top of my head before resting against the edge of the tub. I focused on the rack of oils and salts against the wall, bottles of pinks and purples all promising to make us smell and taste like candies. I couldn't think of one instance where I used them.

Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath of steam and pulled my hands slowly through the water, back and forth at my sides. It was one of the only moments of peace I could really appreciate, even despite my troublesome thoughts that didn't want to let go of the dream. I shifted in the tub, refusing to let my body respond to the thoughts.

I could still see him in the trees, forever circling like a wolf who wanted to devour the rabbit. My nipples hardened at the thought of being that rabbit. I wanted that razor sharp bite, to be ate and devoured by that masked man. I gasped and blinked in the steam, grabbing the edge of the tub. Someone was in the room with me. In the corner of the room, I could have sworn I saw a gleam of silver and black.

Had I seen him in the steam? "Who's there?" I called, waving my hands through the thick fog to clear it. No answer came. I settled back into the water and hugged my knees to my chest. Why was it every time I closed my eyes I was haunted by him? I didn't know him. I may have even imagined seeing him in that hallway.

I leaned my head back and stared at the black, tiled ceiling. Despite the fact that I knew no one was in the room with me, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was. He had been in my head since I saw him first. And I had the feeling he would be there for a long time.

 

 

AN- Wow, I'm so surprised anyone read this! I'm hoping you like it. I know I'm popping the chapters out fast, but I just can't stop writing. Oh, the sexual tension stretches on...only a couple of more chapters before relief :)


	3. Your Touch

Ultraviolence

By: AshesandLashes

~~~

~~~

_And I'll be good like I should_   
_Waiting is such misery, I need_   
_Your touch_

~~~

 

 

* * *

 

 

I sat at the mirror running a comb through my hair as two women waltzed in. One was human, the other I didn't know. She was very beautiful, but a horrible snob. Two black horns rose from her crown where she often had jewels hung or flowers resting. I knew to steer clear of her. She was a favorite among the soldiers and had been General Vas' preferred before I came along.

"So you saw him?" The human asked, her eyes wide from the promise of gossip. The alien nodded and tossed her long, white braid behind her shoulder, the trinkets hanging from her horns tinkling softly. "Mm. He's very tall. And dark. You can almost feel the darkness pouring off of him."

The comb slowed it's trek through my hair as my ears picked up on their words. Someone new? Someone dark? My throat tightened at the tiny realization that it could be him scratched at the back of my mind. It had been two days since my dream and it still felt fresh in my mind. It was driving me crazy. I paced through the entire night, afraid that if I closed my eyes he would be there. I was torn between my desire to see him and my fear of such realistic dreams.

"Who are you talking about, Evi?" Someone else had said it before I could. I watched a small group of girls gather around the ones that just came in. I could tell she loved the attention. She straightened her shoulders and gave a small pause to evoke excitement before answering. "Kylo Ren. He's infamous among the First Order. He's here on this base."

"Do you think he'll be here long?"

"I wonder if he'll call for one us!"

I stared incredulously at them through the mirror. Though most of them had only ever lived this life, groomed from birth to be a sex toy for tireless men, I couldn't imagine being so excited to being used. It was hell, every time my name was called I wanted to die. I never knew I could wish for death so many times.

Evi scoffed and waved her hand at the girls. "I doubt it. I hear that he's very private. I mean, he won't even show his face. But that mask. It's so mysterious." My blood turned to ice in my veins and my fingers trembled uncontrollably. The comb slipped from my hand and clattered against the table, knocking a jar of moisturizing cream to the floor. Thankfully it hadn't spilled.

"Ugh, what an oaf." A girl muttered under her breath as giggles broke out among them. I swallowed against the tightness in my throat. Kylo Ren. Was he the same? It had to be. I could feel it deep with in me.

I reached for the jar of cream at my feet as the doors behind me slid open. "Good morning, Mother." A few girls sing-songed. Mother loved the attention they gave her. She beamed at them before logging in her arrival on the door's computer. Our chambers could only be accessed by certain people and Mother had to approve of any visits.

"Tess." She barked at me. I whirled around in the stool, blinking in surprise. It had only been two days. He wanted me again already? Didn't he have a job to do? "Yes?" I asked, standing.

"Pack your things."

"M-my things?" The room had grown deathly quiet. Was I being transferred? My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. Never had I wanted to stay on a base more than I did right now. His name circled in my head like a siren; _Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren_. "You're being...transferred." She snarled, her pig like jowls trembling from her clenching her jaw so tightly.

My shoulders slumped and I grabbed my meager belongings. A few clothes I had aquired and an anklet my last master forced us to wear. It was a simple gold chain that looped around my middle toe, but I loved it. "Send her past the outer rim." A girl suggested, laughing at my misfortune.

"Hush!" Mother barked, startling the snickering crowd. "General Vas has requested Miss Priss here to get a private room." Their jaws fell open as my heart pounded against my rib-cage. I was staying? In a private room? Blinking, I ducked my head and let Mother guide me out the hallway. She stomped the entire way, her boots pounding with big, fat echoes. I followed further behind, a small smile at my lips.

Vas had come through with a fraction of a promise. I still hated him, though. We turned right once, twice and I realized I was in one of the private rooms for the soldiers at the far end of the corridor. The door slid open and Mother stepped back to let me in. "Your dinners will be brought to you. You'll bathe in this room and only leave when the General calls for you." I nodded, dropping my pack to the white, carpeted floor. It was hardly anything special but far better than my bunk.

The bed was tucked into the corner, black sheets and pillows. A tub sat on the opposite wall where a rack of soaps and oils sat, fully stocked with towels. I spun squishing the carpet between my toes. And as I spun my eye caught sight of a small, lit circle on the same wall as the bed. It was only the size of a dinner plate but my heart leapt into my throat. A window. I could see the wall of the base towering beside me but turning to the left I could see the forest. I touched the glass as Mother cleared her throat behind me.

I spun to see General Vas standing beside her, towering above her like the trees of the forest. He beamed, proud of his ability to come through on a promise. "Well?"

"I don't know what to say. Thank you." My voice was quiet. He took broad steps into the room and cleared his throat, glancing around. "Yes, well. You always seem so sad." He stood straight, every muscle tense. I tilted my head to the side. I had never seen him so nervous.

Mother rolled her eyes from behind him and shifted on her feet. She was hating the attention I was getting. I smiled and pointed to the window. "It'll be easier to be happy here."

"I have to admit that my intentions weren't completely admirable. I was hoping you would accompany me tonight."

"Yes, of course."

"To dinner." He finished and I froze. He took a step toward me and ducked his head, pulling my chin up with his fingers. I was terrified he would kiss me, though it would be nice to see how furious Mother would be at it. But he stopped. "As my guest."

"Of course." My voice was a whisper, barely heard over the droids that made their way into the room behind Mother. She side-stepped them, blinking in surprise. Obviously he hadn't authorized this with her, not that he had to anyway. "There will be an induction ceremony at the end of the week. General Hux and Kylo Ren have come from the Supreme Leader to be a guidance to our new soldiers." I felt faint at the mention of his name and tried to look as normal as possible as Vas beamed with pride. "They'll be congratulating me tonight."

"Tonight?" He smiled and brushed his hand over the back of my head, smoothing my hair from my face.

"No more braids." He instructed to Mother though his eyes never left my face. I could barely hear his words or see anything but a vision of a black mask in my mind. He would be there. I would be in his presence. My body tingled at the thought. Mother and Vas left the room and the droids rolled closer to me. I could barely think, it was all happening so fast. How could I sit at a table, eat, and act normal after my dreams, after what I had felt and done to myself since then?

* * *

 

Anxiety ripped through me as I paced in my new room. I was sure I could smell my own sweat beneath the pit of my arms despite the copious amount of fresh powder I had patted under them. Mostly, I was worried about soaking my gown. I paused as my reflection caught my eye. It was odd, wearing a gown. Mother always made us wear outfits when we were called on to show off our hips, breasts or legs but this...

I didn't feel as if I would be ogled at, or stripped within seconds of putting it on. It was a simple gown, black around my shoulders and fading to a dark red at the skirt. Three diamonds were cut out at the chest and the sides. It showed my skin, but I was used to being near naked by now. My hair was twisted and pinned in so many places it was impossible for me to try to figure it out. It felt heavy on top of my head, but looked rather elegant.

A few strands had loosened and fell around my face and shoulders. My hair was something that I could never tame, let alone two droids. I spun in the mirror, watching the sleek fabric swirl around my legs. Another strand of hair fell against my collar bone and I touched my skin, exactly where he had in my dream.

I stared at the place in my reflection, wishing I could go back there, just for a moment, just to feel something that intense again.

The chamber door slid open and I gasped, clutching my hand to my chest. General Vas smiled from the doorway, his arm crooked and held out for me to take. He was dressed in his uniform, adorned with all of his military medals. I hesitated, unsure if it was too late to back down. Had he ordered me to dinner or asked me? I couldn't remember.

Something inside me moved me forward and I stared as my hand curled around his elbow. My throat had filled with ice, and I could barely breathe. Whether he noticed or not, I didn't know. Vas spun us toward the corridor and marched as straight and proud as he would into battle which is exactly where I felt I was headed. I closed my eyes and let him lead me, my heart pounding as loud as a drum.

We walked for an eternity it seemed. Around every corner I held my breath, fearing this would be the one where I would see him. But it never came to that. Vas lead me right into an enormous banquet hall and I gasped at the sight. Massive windows, three stories tall and as wide as the room itself gave a breath taking view of the sky. We were high in the base. I could barely see any weapons or ships below us, just the tops of the forest stretching in all directions.

Vas pulled me along but my eyes never left the forest beyond us. It looked so close, so reachable. How far would I get if I just ran now? My stomach clenched and I could feel the twitch in my bones, the undeniable urge to run, to flee and escape. Would Vas let his storm troopers shoot me with their blasters? Would he kill me?

A voice in the back of my head echoed loudly all of a sudden. "Don't run. Breathe." I took in a shaking breath as Vas pulled my chair out at a long, covered table. A man sat on the other side of me, looking surly and sulking over the empty plate before him. He barely glanced my way. "General Hux." Vas greeted with a small nod and a bow of respect. I blinked as I glanced between the two men. I could practically feel the tension between them as I took my seat.

Pursing my lips, I folded my hands in my lap and glanced around the room. Troopers were seated in two dozen rows of tables a floor beneath us, their helmets forgotten for the night. I could feel more than a few eyes on me, but I ignored them for the most part. I searched the room, confused. There were no masked me, no one shrouded in darkness, no one to ignite the fire that desperately called for it deep inside me.

"Where's your friend?" Vas asked airily, settling into his chair at the center of the table. I leaned forward and glanced down the length of the table. Ranked men and women sat, sharing polite conversation and none glanced my way I noticed. Out of respect? Or fear that Vas was breaking rules to have me here? I suddenly felt like a trapped animal.

"You should know that he operates on his own schedule. He will be here when he decides, if at all." Hux replied from beside me, folding his hands over the table. We sat in an uncomfortable silence until servants brought the food out onto the tables. I sat straight and stared down at the meager vegetable meal I was served. The men to my sides both had bountiful meals, piled with meat, vegetables, delicacies. A cup of fruit was placed to the side of my plate and my glass was filled with water.

I snatched it before it was full and drank in gulp-fuls. Apparently Mother still had a bit of control over what I did. She made damn sure that I would still continue eating my quarter portions. I pushed the food around and ate a few bites of fruit, but my stomach refused anything more. I hated to admit that I was feeling disappointment.

He hadn't shown? Was he ranked higher than Vas? I watched the plates being taken away before the man at my side stood and wiped his mouth on the napkin. "Ah, as I said. Kylo Ren's schedule is vastly different than our own."

My stomach dropped to the seat of my chair and I twisted toward the door, my eyes wide and my breath shaking in my lungs. His stride was quick and long. It only took him seconds before he reached the table. I wanted to crawl under it, to hide like a frightened rabbit. His mask was dark, shrouded under the same black hood I had seen in the hallway. He was just as intimidating then. Just being in his presence made my body weak.

Vas stood from his chair, unaware of the affect Kylo Ren had over me. I spun back to the table and focused on the water stain that had been left behind by my goblet. "General." He said, his static voice distorted by the mask. It sent a wave of heat searing through me and I had to brace myself on the table to keep from slipping to the floor.

I could feel him move behind General Hux to take the seat beside him. I couldn't have looked if I wanted to. I was frozen, struck by the realization that I was surrounded by powerful men who could kill me without a backwards glance. Vas spoke to the crowd in what I assumed was a morale rousing speech but I felt as if I were far , far away. His words were faint to my ears as if I sat in my own bubble. The crowd cheered, lifting their glasses to him and I took a deep breath.

And suddenly, General Hux was gone and I was only a couple of feet away from him. I licked my painfully dry lips, wishing I had kept my water. From the corner of my eye I could see him sitting as still as stone, his posture almost perfect, palms face down on the table.

A hand slipped around the base of my neck and I nearly leapt out of my chair, gasping in terror. Vas laughed and leaned closer to me. "I didn't mean to frighten you." He caught a strand of my hair between his first two fingers and pulled it away from my face. "I'm going to make my rounds, speak directly to the soldiers, build morale. Will you be alright?" He glanced over my head to where Kylo Ren sat. "Alone?"

I nodded, hopefully not too enthusiastically. He smiled again, his thumb grazing my chin before he stood. I didn't watch where he went. Instead I turned my head toward the table, my body still facing away. The way my dress was cut, my back was nearly completely bare with only a ribbon of black holding the front up, tied at the nape of my neck. I wondered if he noticed, if he looked at me with the same hunger as he did in my dream. Or was I being delusional?

Slowly, I turned in my chair and forced myself to look at him. Whether he was watching me or not, I couldn't tell but as my eyes fell on his mask he turned toward me. I saw only my reflection in the depths of black of the mask but I felt his gaze tracing over my face and body. My skin blushed and I felt heat pool in my middle, growing in depths that threatened to drown me.

I could think of nothing to say to him despite the questions swirling in my mind. Were you in my dreams? Did you force me to look at you in the hallway? Who are you? Why do I feel such a pull to you? My lips parted and I had almost dredged up the courage to speak when he stood suddenly. I watched him rise, his face never looking away from mine. He stepped closer and I felt every fiber in my body erupt in flames. Sweat dripped down my neck, rolling along the hem of my gown to dip between my breasts.

My breath caught in my throat as he stepped closer until there was almost nothing between us but his cloak and my gown. He brought his hand to my neck and dragged a gloved middle finger from my collar to just between my breasts, tracing the trail of sweat just as he had in my dream. This time, I was wide awake. I had to grip the chair to keep from falling to the floor. I blinked up at him, my pulse so fast it was making me feel faint. He stepped to the side and strode away, leaving as quickly as he arrived.

I didn't watch him go, simply because I couldn't find the will to move at all. What did it mean? How had he known? By the time he had reached the doors, I found my strength and stood, nearly toppling my chair over. His robes billowed out behind him like a storm cloud. He didn't look back.

 

* * *

 

AN- Small chapter to move the plot along...But don't worry...the explicit is right around the corner :)


	4. For your sake

Ultraviolence

By: AshedandLashes

~~~

~~~

_You push it hard, I pull away, I'm feeling hotter than fire  
I guess that no one ever really made me feel that much higher_

~~~

* * *

 

 

I faked a stomach ache and stumbled back into my quarters. I knew Vas was angry that he wouldn't be able to take me back to his room but I convinced him that I was genuinely sick. And to be honest, I didn't feel well. I felt as if I had been punched in the gut and every time I managed to catch my breath, I was hit again.

Though I didn't like the thought of the kitchen staff being punished for making me ill, the thought of Vas touching my body tonight did make the little bit that I ate threaten to come up. As soon as the door slid shut, I collapsed against it. My fingers were numb as they struggled to release the knot at the back of my neck. I pulled desperately until it loosened at the top of my dress spilled down my chest. The cold of the steel door did little to cool my skin.

Gripping the fabric to my chest I hurried to the tub. I ran the cold water and slid in, gown and all. The water poured over me and I sighed in relief, letting my head fall back against the rim of the tub. The water only filled halfway to the top before I nudged the faucet off with my foot. I wriggled free from the gown and let it fall with a wet, plop to the floor, leaving me only in my underwear.

My mind raced, a whirlwind of confusion and desire and torment. I didn't know what it had meant, why he did what he did. All I knew was that I could still feel the fabric of his glove on my skin, could still feel how it scorched my flesh in an invisible scar. I brought a palm-ful of water and poured it over my chest. It didn't help.

Suddenly, I was angry. How dare he do this to me. I would have never glanced his way in the hallway had he not...forced me to. I didn't know how, but I knew it was him. He wanted me to look at him, to know him in my dreams. I stood from the water, ignoring the towels. I paced across the carpeted floor, my fists clenched at my sides.

I knew my situation. I was nothing but a slave, forced to pleasure men I had no desire to even touch but that didn't mean he could do this to me...This was somehow worse. He was forcing me to want him.

Gods, how I wanted him.

Gnashing my teeth together, I turned to the bed, my hands gripped behind my head. I sat on the mattress, momentarily surprised by how soft it was. Before I could even reach for my pack of clothes, the door slid open. I gave a shriek and pulled a pillow across my naked body, staring in bewilderment at Mother. She stared straight ahead, her eyes blank and hollow. "You've been called on. I'll escort you."

"I'm not feeling well tonight. I told General Vas and he was quite understanding before...Is there some mistake?"

Mother typed her information into the computer, her movements robotic and forced. I took the pause as an opportunity to slip my legs into a pair of leggings. She turned from the computer just as I managed to pull on a semi-clean tunic. "You've been called on. I will escort you." She merely repeated, never looking to me.

My stomach twisted. I shouldn't leave with her. Ever cell in my body begged for me to stay in my room, but what choice did I have? When I was summoned, I had to answer. Frowning, I opted to leave my shoes behind and followed Mother into the hallway. It was quiet and dark, with only every other light illuminated. I shivered, wishing I hadn't taken such a cold bath. At the end of the corridor we turned and I recognized where we were headed. Vas had sent for me after all.

Why was he being so persistent? Perhaps he decided that I owe him some gratitude for his hospitality. I frowned and crossed my arms to my chest, staring at the black tiles beneath my bare feet. Mother lead the way, slower than she normally moved but I was thankful. She stopped outside the door and I pressed the release on the lock. It slid open and I stomped into the dark room.

Only a single light was lit in the corner. In my anger I hadn't realized that this wasn't Vas' room at all. I slipped my fingers into the hem of my leggings and pulled them to the floor. I kicked them toward the bed but the bed wasn't where it normally was. With my brows furrowed, I glanced to the wall where his enormous bed usually rest. Tonight it was on the opposite wall. In fact, everything was on the opposite side, even the window that I stared out of every other night while he slept were facing a completely different direction.

I gasped as I realized I had been called on by someone else and now I stood half naked before I even knew who. But I did know who. Some tiny part of me felt it as soon as I walked in. My anger washed away almost immediately, leaving only doubt and a tremble behind. From the darkness beside the window, Kylo Ren emerged, still fully robed and masked. He crossed the room in two steps, and I answered by retreating to the door.

My back hit the cold steel and I stared, wide eyes full of fear. I pursed my lips to keep my chin from quivering but it did no good. "If you think I've called you here for your services, you're wrong." His static voice said from behind his mask. I nodded, unable to do much else. He took a step back and paced the length of the room.

"General Hux and I feel that General Vas has been abusing his power as of late. You being one of the prime examples of this abuse." I didn't know what to say. Was this what that touch was about? Why? "Vas is a very careful man, he hides these misuses of his power very well. Do you agree?" He was trapping me. I was being interrogated about Vas and now he was trying to trap me into saying something incriminating.

"No."

"Then I'm wrong?" Kylo turned to face me and his pacing slowed to a stop. I shook my head. "No...I just...I don't understand."

"You will. Turn around." I blinked and swallowed the lump of terror that had formed in my throat. I turned around to face the door. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I could feel him stepping closer to me. I heard the sound of fabric sliding against something and suddenly his fingers were on the back of my neck. "Put your hands on the door." I did as I was told and splayed my fingers across the door.

His bare hand slid down my back and around my right side, gripping my flesh in his palm but not as rough as Vas usually was. My lips trembled as I struggled for anything to say. Stop. Don't stop. Please. His fingers danced their way to my breasts, pinching my nipples and drawing a low moan from the back of my throat. He stepped even closer and I could feel the rough fabric of his robes against the back of my legs. His fingers left my nipples and I cried in protest. It wasn't long before they found their way into the band of my underwear.

I gasped, struggling for a breath as his fingers slipped between my lips and curled around that sweet spot of pleasure. I breathed hard against the door, unable to wrap my mind around what was happening. My hips rocked against his palm and he brought his other hand around to pinch and pull at my nipples. "Is this what you want?" His voice startled me but I bit my lip, nodding desperately. My hands slipped, but he used his free hand to slam them back to the door, holding my wrists tightly. I could feel his body pressing hard against mine now. His fingers pulled at me, rocking me back and forth. "Yes." I whispered, my words trembling as they fell from my lips.

He pulled away suddenly and I gasped, pressing my quivering legs together. I collapsed against the door, pressing my fevered cheeks against the cold. "Good. I need you to retrieve some information for me." I blinked, shocked that he could be so cruel. I turned my head as he slid is gloves back on his hands.

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"General Vas has some information on the moon base the First Order is planning to build. I need that information." Reeling from the assault on my mind and body, I shook my head, scoffing as I stared in confusion. "I don't know how to get that information."

"Figure it out. For your sake."

* * *

 

 

AN- Short chapter, teensy bit of smut. :)


	5. Beg For Me

~~~

~~~

_Baby, I'll learn to touch you_   
_I wanna breathe into your well_   
_See, I gotta to hunt you_   
_I gotta to bring you to my hell_

_~~~_

* * *

 

I had been pacing the length of the room for nearly two hours, chewing on the side of my thumb nail until it was tender to the touch. Frustrated, I crossed my arms over my chest to keep them out of my mouth, glancing occasionally at the measly amount of food I had been allowed for the day. It sat on a silver tray, ignored for the better part of the hour.

The tiny pile of vegetables had been steaming when they first arrived but by now they had gone cold and limp. How could I even think about eating right now? It felt as if my entire body had been wound so tightly I could burst at any second...but I couldn't.

I couldn't release myself even though I tried. I had laid in bed half the night trying to relieve myself of some of the tension that developed from my meeting with Kylo Ren. I was beginning to despise that name even though I had found myself whispering it over and over.

It was unfair.

As depressing as it was, I had gotten used to my life as someone's whore, being beckoned and called for night and day at their whim. How could he barge into my pathetic life like this and cause this much havoc? Why was I letting him even get to me?

I could treat him like any other man who wanted me for my body. Put up with the pain, bury it deep, and move on. I could do that, couldn't I? I stopped pacing and stared at my reflection. Mother needn't worry about those two pounds I had gained. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten a full meal and it was starting to show. My ribs were defined under the flesh of my stomach now. Disgusted, I lowered my shirt and glanced back at the tray of food.

Maybe I was in such a frenzy because I needed food. I sighed and sat at the table built into the wall of the room. I was right about the food, it had grown cold. Still, I forced myself to eat every bite and even cold, it was delicious. As I chewed, I watched the clouds pass by the tiny window. They looked full and dark, ready to pour any second.

What I would give to feel the rain on my face.

As I swallowed the last bite of food, an idea formed in my mind, tiny at first but began to grow. If I do what Kylo Ren asked of me, if I find what General Vas is truly up to, would it be enough to free me? Is it even possible to bargain with a man like him? I would give him what he wanted, give in to whatever desire he requested and then...Maybe I could be free?

I turned to the door of my prison cell. I had no way to contact him should I find something out...Was I expected to wait for him to come to me? Of course I was. Kylo Ren operated on his own schedule, hadn't that been what Hux said?

I would find this information he needed from Vas, I would get it and I would get my freedom. Or I would die trying.

* * *

 

A storm waged war against the base, beating against the sides of the control room with hail. Thunder crashed around them, sometimes trembling the floors. General Vas chuckled as the two men stared out the windows to the storm. "They weren't always this bad. The storms, I mean. The more we build, the bigger they get." He clapped his meaty palm against General Hux's back, sending him stumbling a few steps.

Hux straightened and angrily smoothed his uniform down, glaring up at the man. He squared his shoulders and gestured to the planet's horizon. "What are your plans for expansion?"

"Not much more we can do here. Resources plateaued last month. I'm just waiting on orders from the Supreme Leader. If we have to move, we move." General Vas stared out the window, his expression darkening. His eyes narrowed on the line of trees and he crossed his arms over her broad chest.

Usually so cheerful, his tone made the masked man at his side glance his way. Kylo Ren studied the General's expression before sharing a look with Hux. He was hiding something. Hux nodded and excused himself. General Vas didn't give them a backwards glance as they walked out. Once in the hallway, Hux let his temper surface.

"That man is absolutely insufferable." He fumed, wiping the sleeves of his jacket off, as if Vas had left some residue on the fabric. "He's hiding something." Hux took several deep breaths through his nose to calm himself.

"He has a weakness in the girl. She can be bargained with to retrieve the plans."

"He's not the only one with a weakness for girls. Be careful that you don't let your feelings get in the way this time." General Hux spat, giving a reproachful look to Kylo Ren before hurrying down the corridor. It was a long moment before he found the will to move.

* * *

 

Vas was breathless as he collapsed back onto the pillows of his bed. I pulled the sheets up to my chest. Despite him being inside me only moments ago, it felt odd being comfortably naked around him. In a way, it felt as if it would mean I had accepted this life, his abuse, my rape. So I covered myself and tucked the edges around my body.

I watched as he rolled onto his side away from me. I knew he wore something to prevent my pregnancies but I didn't ask about it. He always rolled over to discard of it. I rose up on my elbows and peeked over his massive form. In the wall beside the headboard were three small handles. He pulled the top one, tossed something in and shut it.

Could he be keeping the secret plans in those drawers? I chewed my bottom lip and settled back into the pillows, turning my attention to his expanse of windows. The storm still raged outside, lightening every other second with thunder right on it's heels. Even from this far away, I could see the trees swaying in the violent wind. It made me think of Kylo Ren and his affect on me. Inside me, a similar storm was raging.

"You're always far away." Vas said from beside me. I blinked, but didn't turn away. "Tell me what you're thinking."

I didn't want to admit that I was thinking about Kylo Ren. I knew enough about men to know how foolish that would be. Instead, I sat up, pulling the sheet with me. "I was just thinking that this storm is blocking the sky. I love the moons..." I smiled, turning from the window to his face. "They're beautiful."

"Mm, they are."

"Have you been there?" I prodded, hoping to get something out of him. A bit of information that I could use to bargain for my freedom. Vas sat up, neglecting the sheets around him and I averted my eyes from his nudity. "I have. They're mostly oceans. But on the smaller one, there's nearly 100 volcanoes. They ooze into the ocean constantly. It was so active we couldn't even land on the surface."

My hopes fell. If these weren't where the weapons were, I had no idea where to look. I had never studied the stars or the galaxy. My family had been farmers, illiterate and simple. The only education I received was after I was stolen away, forced to be worldly, to learn to make myself seem more desirable. "I've never seen a volcano." I whispered. "Are they powerful?"

"Yes, but I've seen weapons more powerful than 1000 volcanoes."

"That's scary." He laughed and pulled my hair across my shoulders, draping it over one shoulder before kissing my skin. I wanted to shake him off of me, but I knew I couldn't. "No...It's fascinating. Maybe one day I'll tell you about them." His hands were on my sides now. I shut my eyes, bracing myself for the next round. But when he lifted me off the bed and spun me around, I was no longer against his naked body.

I looked down at the endless folds of black wool and leather. The belt that circled his waste dug into my thighs so hard I almost cried out. Was this real? I clutched at the fabric, running it through my fingers, grasping it for any sign that this was truly reality. My eyes searched the fathomless depths of that insufferable mask. Gloved hands ran up my spine, fluttering over my shoulders before gripping the hair at the back of my neck. My head jerked back and I gasped at the flood of pleasure that washed over me.

Kylo reached between us with his other hand, separating the clothes between us. Or was this Vas? Was I hallucinating? He tugged harder at my hair and I lifted myself onto my knees. He guided me lower, his fingers digging into the flesh on my hips. I gasped and shuddered as I lowered myself onto him. He filled me so deeply and so completely that I couldn't help crying out in both pain and pleasure. My hips bucked and I shuddered, anxious for him to move. I gripped his cloak tightly, grinding my hips against his, the sharp edges of his belt digging deeper into my thighs.

"Oh, fuck..Tess." I gasped, startled by the clear, deep voice that did not belong to Kylo Ren. Once again, it was Vas beneath me, bucking wildly. I was no longer filled the way I had been before. All of the heat lifted from my body, leaving me only feeling vulnerable and naked. I wanted to cover myself, to run and hide in shame. Instead I clamped my teeth around my bottom lip to keep myself from crying. Tears stung my eyelids as Vas flipped me over, pressing my chest and face into the bed. He entered me from behind, holding my hips so tight he brought new life to my old bruises.

I cried into the sheets and he mistook my sobs as moans of pleasure.

* * *

 

It was late when the storm calmed outside. The storm inside me still raged though and I was full of thunderous anger. I was tired of these games, tired of being a pawn, a toy for men to throw around and use when they needed it. I sat on the edge of my own bed, staring down at my whore's clothing. My skirt was only a thin strip of fabric that left little to the imagination.

I marched to the closet and wrenched the doors open. Tiny outfits hung is straight rows. Most were black or dark, rich colors, hardly any cloth the them at all. Chains hanging off breast cups, wrist cuffs built into sleeves. We were constantly reminded that we were in prison. I growled and pulled them free from their hangers, throwing them to the floor.

I knew how childish I was being but at that moment, I couldn't care. I had been forced into these clothes since I was fourteen years old. The clothes ripped easily in my hands, tearing them into as small a piece as I could.

It wasn't until my tears dripped onto my hands that I realized I was crying at all. I swiped at my cheeks before popping a gold chain that hung in the slit of a skirt. I remembered wearing it not too long ago, a night spent at the hands of General Vas and his insatiable lust. I stared at the pile of fabric in my lap suddenly feeling unclean. I neglected the pile and stripped of my skirt and top, letting them fall to the floor.

Steam filled the room in seconds and I sunk into the searing water, welcoming the burn. I grabbed a rag and a couple of bottles of oil, dumping them into the bath. I wanted to smell like anything but sex and Vas. I scrubbed at every inch of my skin, bruised, tender and all until I was bright pink and reeking of exotic flowers that I would never see with my own eyes.

I pulled the pins from my hair and let it tumble down my shoulders. Dipping my head back, I turned so I could get all of my hair submerged. It felt so nice that for a long moment, I stayed as I was. The water covered my ears and all I could hear was the silence that enveloped me. I closed my eyes, floating in the dark deprivation of my senses.

Here, I could pretend I was already free.

Sighing, I could already feel my fingers wrinkling. I rose out of the water, scrubbing my face with the palms of my hands.

"Did you retrieve the information?"

I spun in the tub, a scream rising from the pit of my chest to echo around the room. Kylo Ren's hand shot out from his side and I was instantly silenced. I felt my throat tighten for a moment from an invisible hand and then I was released. I hugged the edge of the tub to conceal my naked, trembling body. "You can not do that!" I sputtered.

"Answer my question." He demanded as he paced the room, first to the edge of my bed then to the closet and back to the door. He wasn't his usual intimidating self. Was he...nervous? I licked my lips and reached for a towel, waiting until his back was turned before I stood and covered myself. I tucked the corner of the towel against my chest, holding it with one hand just to be sure.

"Ask again, I think my heart attack made it hard to hear you."

"The information. Did you get it?" His words were sharp and I could tell his jaw was clenched behind his helmet. I leaned my head to the side as he crossed the room, keeping a noticeable distance between himself and me. "I may have something."

"Tell me." He ordered.

"It isn't much." I pulled my hair to one side and twisted the length, wringing any excess water from it. I strolled to the bed and sat on the corner, crossing my legs for modesty. "But, I want to know something."

"I could just take it from you. Very easily." His steps paused, facing the door with his back to me. For a moment, I was afraid he would do just that, but he didn't move. In his silence, I continued.

"I'll get this information for you, and anything else you want to know about General Vas and his plans. But I want something in return."

"Are you sure you're in the position to be making demands?" He turned now, slowly on his heel. My entire body was in knots and I was shaking from nervousness. I uncrossed my legs and pulled at the corner of my towel, letting it drop around my hips. If I could seduce him, this man whom I have never even seen, seducing Vas for information would be a walk in the forest. I rose slowly, taking time to show him every inch of my nakedness.

He made no move, forward or back as I slid toward him, my eyes kept to the ground in submission. I didn't touch him, but I was close. My breasts were nearly against his chest, could feel the slight tickle of the fabric against my nipples. "If I do everything you ask of me..." I slid a finger along the outside edge of his cloak as I looked up at him. "Will you help free me?" I hadn't planned the crack in my voice but if he noticed, he made no indication.

"Tell me what you know." His words were nearly breathless. I cursed the thick cloth between us. I wanted just a tiny hint of what I was doing to him. I licked my lips and stared at his chest, slipping my palm against his heart beat. It was strong and wild beneath my touch. "Vas has no plans for the moons here. But he spoke of a weapon...a very," My eyes fluttered upward for his mask. "powerful weapon. He was very open about it. It wouldn't take much to get him to tell me more."

"Is that all?" He sounded so...disapproving of me. I bit my lip, wracking my brain for anything I could say.

"He has a hiding place...in his wall. I saw him open it but couldn't see what was in it. I could try to--" My words were cut short, and I gasped in surprise as lifted me from the ground, his hands gripping my ass tightly. He pulled my legs apart and together we spun, pinning me to the wall with his body. Keeping me up with one hand, he brought the other to my jaw, fingers curling to the back of my neck. His thumb drug across my bottom lip. I leaned my head back against the wall as he ground his hips against mine.

Frenzied, I pulled at his robes, begging for just a slip of flesh, anything for my hands to touch. Instead, I was dropped, spun and pressed against the wall. "Put your hands behind your back." I did as I was commanded and he gripped both of my wrists in one hand. Confusion swirled through my clouded mind as he knelt behind me. Before I could say anything, he had slipped a torn piece of clothing around my eyes, tying it in a knot behind my head.

I whined as I felt another strip wrap tightly around my wrists. And then, a snap, swish and the sound of something heavy being placed on the floor. My body tensed and I pulled desperately on the tie on my hands. He had made sure I couldn't loosen them. His bare hands on my thighs made me suck in a sudden breath. He opened my legs, bringing one onto his shoulder. I felt as if I were about to die. My mind was a frenzy and my heart beat like the drums of war.

And then his mouth was against my skin, making a line up the inside of my thighs, back and forth from one to another. These weren't kisses. His teeth pinched, tongue lapped and I whimpered as he tasted me, closer and closer to my core. I felt an explosion rocking through me in wave, after wave as his tongue found the crease between my folds. He stroked me with his tongue, back and forth in long strides and then smaller ones. I had never felt anything like it before.

Every sensation on my body felt a thousand times more intense. His hair against my hips, the stubble of his chin against the crease of my thighs, the grip on his hands on my legs. I arched my back as he pulled my other leg over his shoulder, one hand cupping my ass. His tongue was moving faster now and I couldn't catch my breath. My insides boiled, my hips bucked against his mouth, and I felt myself frantically trying to hold on, to last just a moment longer. It felt so amazing I didn't want it to stop.

I shuddered, biting my bottom lip so hard I could taste blood and suddenly I was climaxing. My cries were loud and unrestrained as I rode the movements of his mouth. He lapped up every bit that he could. I could feel the affects of my orgasm on his face, dripping between his mouth and to the back of my thighs.

Kylo set me back on the ground where my knees nearly buckled. I leaned into the wall for support, my body sweaty and sticky against it. "Untie me." I begged, my head falling back against the wall. I was so weak, but I wanted-needed- more. "Please."

I could feel him step close to me, his hair dusting the tops of my shoulder as he leaned down to my neck. "I like the sound of you begging." Oh, gods that voice. So deep and velvet against my ear. His mouth pressed into my throat, teeth dragging over my collar bone. His hand found my hair, fingers twisting at the back of my head. "Do you beg for everyone?"

I wanted to be offended, to tell him not to bring up anyone else while he and I were...whatever we were doing but I shook my head instead. "Never." He gripped my chin in his hand, jerking my face toward his. I cursed the cloth around my eyes. I could see nothing through it. "Good. You'll only beg for me. Do you hear me?"

"Yes." My voice was barely a whisper as my lips trembled. He was so close that I could smell the sweetness of myself of his breath, could feel it hot against my own mouth. I wanted his kiss almost as badly as I craved him inside me. I wanted it all. Instead, he forced my head to the side and pressed his mouth once more to my throat, dragging his tongue up my jaw. His hands found the constraints on my wrist and he made quick work of them. My first instinct was to rip the blindfold off of my face but I hesitated.

I listened instead, to him as he picked his helmet off the ground and slid it back on. My shoulder's slumped. Did this mean he was finished? I wanted to beg him to stop, to stay with me. He pulled my blindfold back, slipping it up to my forehead. He was Kylo Ren again as I knew him. Dark, cold, anonymous.

His hand lingered against my jaw, a finger tracing the bottom of my lips. "I think we have a deal." After hearing his true voice, the static sound his mask made only disappointed me. "You give me what I want, and you'll have your freedom."

* * *

 

 

AN- Sorry for being so long, I had tried to condense it, but it didn't lead up to the ending as well. Which I loved writing :)

 


	6. Truth

~~~

~~~

  _Creatures of mercy_  
Shoot shoot  
Shoot them down  
And set me free

~~~

* * *

 

 

How foolish could he be? Kylo Ren stormed through the door of his chambers, his breath ragged from the anger coursing through him. She had gotten to him again and he failed to keep his desires hidden, buried deep down within himself. Furious at his own weaknesses, he gripped the hilt of his light saber and the room lit from the red glow.

He raised his arm high in the air, ready to destroy the table and chair that sat before him but he hesitated. Breathing deeply, he closed his eyes. He withdrew his light saber and dropped his arm to his side. He couldn't keep his mind from turning back to her.

She had been so sure of herself, walking to him, naked and tempting but he could see the torment in her eyes. It tore into his heart like claws and the only way to stop the bleeding was to satisfy her. He wanted to please her. He wanted her more than he had wanted anything in a long time and he had no idea why.

Frustrated, he turned to the window where the base stretched beneath them. He watched a row of storm troopers march under the instruction of their commanding officer. Beyond them was the forest where he had seen the girl. Just a dream to her, he knew it meant something more. They were drawn to each other and he needed to know why.

But above all else, he needed to satisfy the Supreme Leader. He couldn't face another disappointment, another opportunity to learn more about his dark side. The longer they stayed on the base, he knew that it would be harder to get what he wanted. In the end, he knew he would have to choose between his loyalty to the dark side...or her.

* * *

 

I had actually slept through the night, a first for me since I had arrived at General Vas' base. I wouldn't fool myself though. I knew it was because of my meeting with Kylo Ren. He had made me weak, exhausted me until sleep wasn't far off after he had left me.

The morning came fast and I poked my head out from under my stack of pillows to see sunlight streaming through my tiny window. I smiled, stretching my muscles under the sheets. From behind the bed, a throat cleared and I spun, wide eyed. Apparently I had slept so soundly I hadn't heard the door open.

Standing beside me was Mother. She did not look happy. I clutched the covers to my chest and slid back into my pillows. "What are you doing here?"

"It would seem that your new bit of freedom has gone to your head." She spat, ripping the sheets out of my hand. I gasped as she snatched her rod from her side and pointed it at me, inches from my nose. "I know all that goes on in these rooms, I control who comes to you, where you go, do you understand that?" Her words sunk in my mind like a bag of stones and I felt myself pale. Had she known Kylo Ren came to me last night?

"I didn't forget." I said breathlessly, glancing from the tip of the rod to her face. She narrowed her eyes before lunging at me. I yelped as she snatched me around the neck and pulled me across the bed like I weighed nothing until I was inches from her snarling face. I had never seen her strength before and it was terrifying.

Mother glared into my face, her lips quivering with pure fury. She truly hated me. "Someone was here last night. Your door was accessed and it was not from me." Her arm rose and I saw the rod gripped tightly in her fat fingers, pointed to the ceiling. "Who was it?"

My mouth gaped like a fish. I couldn't tell her. She pulled me off the bed, my hands and knees slapping the tile floor violently. I realized all too late that I was still naked but she didn't care. She brought the rod down as fast as lightening, whipping the back of my shoulders. I cried out and covered my head in my hands. "TELL ME!" She screamed next to my head and when I didn't answer, she whipped me again.

Each time the end of her rod seared across my flesh, I thought I was going to die. Blood dripped down my sides into tiny pools on the floor. By the sixth lashing, I collapsed on my side and rolled into myself to protect anything vital from being hit. I was struck four more times across my hip and side until finally Mother stumbled away, breathless but pleased with her work.

My back felt as if it were on fire and no matter how tiny of a breath I took, I could feel my skin ripping from each one. I sobbed hard as she slipped her rod back into its place at her belt. I could see her hobble toward me through the curtain of hair that had fallen over my face. She pushed my shoulder with her boot, rolling me onto my back. I cried out as the cold floor touched the fire scorching across my skin. 

"Such a stupid girl."

I coughed through my sobbing, unable to move. "Do you think General Vas will let this go unnoticed? He'll see my scars."

Mother scoffed and turned to the door. She pressed the buttons with her toad-like fingers and the lock turned. "Stupid, stupid girl. Who do you think ordered me to do this?" The door slid shut just as she howled with laughter. It echoed through the room like a ghost and my eyes burned with fresh tears.

They spilled down my face as I laid naked on the floor, staring up into the blurry ceiling. I didn't know how many hours had passed as I lay as still as I could. It was agony just to breathe. Every move I made felt as if I were being beaten all over again. How had I been so happy that morning? It felt so long ago. The tiniest bit of joy I had felt in years had been ripped from me with every strike of Mother's rod.

It felt so far away now.

Wincing, I managed to roll onto my side and push myself up. The blood had dried across my back and sides, pulling at the wounds every time I moved. I tried my hardest not to cry as I used the bed to stand, bent over the mattress like an elderly woman. Breathless, I focused on the bathtub across the room. I needed to wash myself. The last thing I wanted was an infection.

I moved as if I were in a foggy, dizzy dream. The room blurred around me and I took tiny steps. My clothes were still strewn across the carpet and I glanced at them, searching for the strips that had bound my hands last night. I found them by the wall and hissed as I bent to pick them up. They no longer elicited the same response as they had.

I brought them to the tub with me. Water poured fast and cold and I didn't wait for it to fill up before I slipped inside. I hissed as the stream poured over my wounds, hugging my knees to my chest.

How could I feel so betrayed by a man who never saw me as anything but a toy in the first place? He made me feel safe and secure, he made me feel like he cared. And now? I knew what I truly was. I was a slave. I was a whore....and I was going to be the death of him. I wanted him humiliated, beaten naked, and destroyed.

* * *

 

General Vas clucked his tongue at me as I stood before him. He circled me, a finger tracing the still tender line of bruises and scabs along the small of my back. I winced, but refused to let him see me in pain. "This could have been avoided, you know?"

"Oh?" I stared past him to the window.

"I know you want to keep your little meeting a secret. There'll be no more lashings on my account."

As he moved to face me, I turned my head focusing on the spot on the wall where his drawers were. It had haunted me for the past few days and I knew he was keeping something in there. I had barely heard anything he said aside from 'secret meeting'. I no longer cared whether he thought someone was in my room or not. If he suspected Kylo Ren of visiting me, I'm sure he wouldn't be making such a charade about how pitiful I was. Shrugging a shoulder, I turned to face him. "No one was in my room that night. I can only tell you the truth."

Smiling, General Vas nodded and leaned against the table, crossing his legs at the ankles. He stared at me for several seconds and I wondered if he had frozen. I shifted from one foot to the other before he clapped his hands and gestured to the clothes that he had made me strip from at my feet. "Get dressed." He grinned. "We'll find out the truth."

My gut clenched as I pulled the black dress back up my hips. I pushed my arms through the sleeves and fastened the single button between my breasts. "I've summoned someone who can help in this matter. He's very powerful and can see the truth in your head." Vas was in front of me in a single step, his finger at my temple. I recoiled with a sharp gasp and shut my eyes. No fear. He _wouldn't_ see my fear.

I knew who he meant before the door ever opened. I faced the window, my back to Kylo Ren as he entered General Vas' chambers. "General." He greeted. The two men stared at me as I glanced at them from over my shoulder. Vas gestured to me, stepping around me. "This girl may have had a visit last night. The computer at her door reported being open and opened again thirty minutes later. Just enough to for a spy to relay information. Unfortunately, the cameras on that hallway have been damaged for months. Something I will be sure to repaid immediately." Vas glared at me for several seconds before turning to the man behind me.

The man whom I've known intimately, who has tasted me walked slowly, keeping a good bit of space between us. Just the sight of him made my thighs tremble, made my stomach fill with unfathomable heat and desire. I kept my eyes on his mask and everything else melted away. I begged Kylo Ren with my eyes, knowing with Vas beside us that I couldn't give anything away.

I closed my eyes just as Kylo Ren raised a hand, fingers stretched toward my forehead. With a small push, an aching began at the base of my skull. He slipped into my mind easily and I could see clearly what memories he was looking at. He needn't look at what I had experienced last night but he was there. Standing in front of me as I was still breathless, blindfolded. He saw what I saw: darkness...but he felt everything I had felt.

My heart racing beneath my chest, my legs struggling to keep me standing, the feel of his thumb against my bottom lip. He lingered on the memory of his hand against my cheek, holding me. Memories shifted through my mind and I clenched my jaw. They rushed through my head lightening fast and I saw only flashes of my home, my first time being used for sex, crying, so much crying. I felt my lifetime of sadness hit me at full force and I knew he felt it too.

Our connection fluttered, faster and faster through my mind. He saw me staring at him in the hallway, my forest dream, the dinner, me being beaten repeatedly by Mother. Anger flared inside my mind but I couldn't be sure if it was from me or him. Suddenly, he left my mind. I gasped and stumbled toward Vas' bed, sweat beading all over my body. I clutched at my throat and glanced at the two men. Vas looked anxious, almost excited to hear of my betrayal. But it didn't come.

Kylo Ren turned to him slowly, his voice breaking the thick, tense silence that had filled the room. "She told the truth."

Vas looked utterly broken. He had been so sure of himself and I knew it was a blow to his ego to be told he was wrong. I wanted to smile but Kylo's voice once again distracted me. His words were slow and dripped with darkness. "Perhaps, General, you should be more attentive to your work for the First Order than worrying about a girl." Without a backwards glance he stormed out of the room.

I stared at the door in his absence, unable to bring myself to look at Vas. I knew he was furious but I couldn't be sure he wouldn't take his fury out on me. Still shaking and with my head throbbing now, I drew myself up straight and blinked at the floor at Vas' feet. "I'd like to go back to my room now." My voice was small but echoed around us.

Vas nodded and pressed a button beside the computer at his door. "Escort." He called and a few moments later the door opened to a Storm Trooper. I said nothing to Vas as I gripped my floor length skirt in my hands and left. We had only walked to the next hallway before the Storm Trooper stopped altogether. He stayed still, staring straight ahead.

Confused, I tapped at the armor on his back. "Hello?"

A hand touched the small of my back and I gasped, whirling around to the black, hooded mask of Kylo Ren. He ran his fingers up my sides to cup my face. "No. Please. They'll see. Someone will see." My eyes darted around the hallway, lingering on the s=Storm trooper who seemed to be under a spell, facing away form the two of us.

His hands left my face and found his own. My body shook as my heart pounded wildly beneath my skin. I thought it might burst as I watched him release the lock on his mask. He slid it slowly over his face and I held my breath. Dark hair tumbled around his shoulders and I stared into his equally dark eyes. He was pale but beautiful. I blinked, my entire body filling with warmth as I remembered that this was the face between my legs not so long ago.

Before I could say anything or respond in any true way, his hand found my face again and he brought his mouth down onto mine. Despite my shock, my fear of being caught, and the fact that I was absolutely terrified, I kissed him back immediately. It was all I had thought about since I had seen him standing in the hallway. He guided my head to the side as his lips opened mine allowing space for our tongues to meet. He tasted sweet and I was immediately addicted.

We kissed as if it would be our only kiss we ever shared and we were hungry for nothing but one another. All too soon though, he was pulling away. I whimpered as I watched him pull the helmet back over his head. He raised his hand to the Storm Trooper and suddenly the soldier was walking again, oblivious to what had just happened behind his back. 

As he walked back toward my room, Kylo Ren retreated in the opposite direction. I had never felt so torn between my head and my heart before. My lips still tingling, I touched them with the tips of my fingers. "Whore!" The Storm Trooper shouted several steps away.

I scowled as I looked at him. He stood at the end of the corridor, impatiently waiting for me to follow him. I knew I wouldn't get far if I ran the other way, even with Kylo Ren not too far around the corner to save me. Begrudgingly, I followed him back to my prison cell, my lips tingling the whole way.

* * *

 


	7. Mother Will Be Furious

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 _And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back  
So shake him off_  

~~~

 

* * *

 

 

  
General Vas hadn't called for me in three days. His ego had been bruised and I feared that if he wouldn't call for me, I wouldn't have an opportunity to find the plans that would lead to my freedom. I needed to get word to Kylo Ren that I needed help. I needed a way to ensure he wouldn't wake while I searched his room.

I couldn't knock him out on my own. He was a mountain whereas I felt like a pebble. Frowning, I tapped my chin with my middle finger and sat at the stool before my vanity. The left-side drawers only held certain makeup items, combs, and hair pins and the right side was full of perfumes and aphrodisiac oils.

If I could somehow get a Storm Trooper into my room, I might be able to seduce them, knock them out and steal their armor. It was risky and I knew it would have to be my absolute last ditch effort to escape. With a sigh, I leaned against the vanity and pulled a comb through my hair. I pulled it back into a long braid and twisted it around my skull, pinning it all up.

Just as I slid the last pin into place, the chamber door slid open and Mother stood, squat and expressionless. I blinked as she typed her identification into my door chamber. Her silence made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Just before she could come in the whole way and shut the door, a shadow moved behind her. I watched in slight horror as she and Kylo Ren stepped into my room, the door sliding shut behind them. I blinked, looking from the tall, darkly dressed man to the fat woman at his side. Her eyes were glazed and she looked as if she were in coma of sorts.

"You're doing this aren't you?" I pointed to her but looked up at him. He had controlled me, Mother, the Storm Trooper in the hallway. "If you can do this, why not just take the information from Vas? You're obviously powerful enough." I stood from the stool and closed the distance between us.

He made no move to touch me, to lift his mask from his head. I pursed my lips as I waved my hand in front of Mother's face. She didn't see me at all.

"We need him oblivious. He suspects nothing right now and if he knows the Supreme Leader is suspicious of his loyalty, we think he will try to flee."

"So what? He's just one man." I shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest. It was odd going from pure sexual thoughts to discussing plans as if we were equals. I was ashamed that it excited me.

"In control of a hundred thousand men who seem to be suspiciously loyal to him." Kylo Ren turned to face my room, walking to my vanity. He stepped into the space between it and my bed, staring down at the floor. I followed him and swallowed. The blood stains from my abuse still stained the tile and the edge of the crisp white rug was lined dark red. "They beat you here." It wasn't a question but I nodded.

"Here. The examination rooms. It doesn't matter to them." I stared at him. His hood blocked the view of his mask and I studied the breadth of his shoulders, down the length of his back. I hadn't been able to think about much besides him in the past few days. "They're monsters." I found myself whispering.

"So am I." He replied, turning back to Mother. He stepped up to her. "Tell her your identification number."

"MB-90-5V." Mother called out. I blinked and quickly repeated her words, committing them to memory. Kylo Ren circled the woman who was nearly half his height. "You will no longer beat this woman. You will not look at her. You will not be cruel to her. She will get anything she needs, especially from you." Mother nodded enthusiastically at his words and I felt my heart swell inside me.

It was his only way of apologizing for his mistake, for the scars that lined my back. I smiled and walked to the both of them, hesitating a moment before touching his arm. "My name is Tess. Thank you." It hadn't gone unnoticed that he had referred to me as only 'this woman' or 'this girl'. I knew he had seen memories of my name but it felt right, to tell him myself.

I smiled up at him as he stared down at me. I wished for nothing more than him to take his mask off again. I wanted to see him, to touch his face, to kiss him again. My body craved for another kiss, another night just the two of us. He turned away from me suddenly and returned to the door. Mother followed behind him, her fingers tapping at the computer. "MB-90-BV." I repeated as her hand moved over the keys.

They stepped through the thresh hold of my chambers and I leaned against the door frame, resting my head to the side. "When can I see you again?"

"When you get more information from General Vas." I swallowed as he stepped toward me, his chest nearly touching my own. He ran a line from my throat to the dip between my breasts. "Once you do, I want you to beg for me." Lust coursed through my veins, hot and heavy. I bit my lip and stared up at him before he took a step back. The door slid shut and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in.

* * *

 

That night, I tested Mother's identification code. The door slid open and I stepped out, waiting for several long minutes to see if a rush of soldiers came running down the corridor to stop me. I watched the camera at the far end of the corridor but it was still in its limp, broken state. Feeling a bit more confident, I glanced back into my room before closing the door behind me.

I could hear moans coming from one of the rooms beside mine and I hurried past before anyone could come out and see me. My cheeks blushed and I wondered what kind of person was in there; a Storm Trooper or a man like General Hux? I couldn't imagine him doing anything besides scowling, let alone moaning in pleasure. I hid a giggle behind my fingers at the thought and turned toward the harem. It was late in the night, but I knew some of the girls would be awake. When I had lived among them, it seemed as if they never had to rest, were always awake gossiping or sharing fantasy stories. Squaring my shoulders, I tucked my hair behind my ear and sauntered my way into the room.

Conversation stopped as four girls, including Evi, looked up from the table they were all circled around. "What do you think you're doing here?" One of them asked coldly.

I shrugged as I made my way to the cabinet of treats they kept. "Whatever I want." I replied with a small smile. Cockiness was a new feeling for me, but I trusted Kylo Ren and his commands to Mother. I plucked a few bottles from the cabinet, holding them gently to my chest. Most were filled with herbs to make scents to drive the men wild, but I knew several ways to grind them into powders for aphrodisiacs. Perfect for slipping into someone's drink. I hoped it would make Vas so full of desire he would pass out.

Of course, I had no way of knowing it would work or not.

"Mother will be furious." Evi sing-songed as she laid down the hand of cards she was holding. I shrugged, studying the bottles.

Ground oyster skin, yuck. I put it back and collected three more bottles before closing the cabinets. "You'd be surprised." I smiled as I crossed the room. A few of the girls clucked their tongue at the sight of the scars on my back and I mentally cursed. I had forgotten they could be seen in almost everything I had to wear.

Evi scoffed as she shuffled the cards on the table for another game. "Someone's been very bad. General Vas probably did it. I know how rough he used to get with me. Some girls could take it better than others, though. I'm happy I'm free of him." She looked up at me through her heavily lined eyes. "I'm not much of a fan of being beaten like a dying horse."

"No, just looking like one, right, Evi?" I quirked an eyebrow and turned, catching a glance of a bottle partially hidden behind a pile of scarves. It was absinthe, and I knew a lot of the soldiers loved to drink it before having sex. I gripped the neck of the bottle, pulling it from it's hiding spot and shook it slightly at the girls. "Oh, naughty, naughty...Mother will be furious!" I mocked with a grin before heading back to my chamber.

* * *

 

AN- Such a short chapter, I know. I'll make it up and update again tonight!

 


	8. Frenzy

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* * *

 

He was pacing and it annoyed him. Impatience was for the weak but he had proved over and over again just how weak he was. Especially when it came to _her_. Letting the girl go about as she pleased would get the information faster. And the fast General Vas' secrets were revealed, the sooner Kylo Ren would be free of this task.

If things happened exactly according to plan he could please the Surpreme Leader and free her with no one being the wiser to his weaknesses. He would free her.

 _Tess_.

Her face was emblazoned in his mind, always there, always haunting him, torturing him. Always turning him on.

Kylo groaned and turned to the table and chairs behind him. It was dark in his room but he could see them clearly. He sat and took his helmet off, shaking the hair from his eyes. He slipped the hooded cloak off of his shoulders and let it fall to the floor along with his belt and tunic. Thinking about her had caused his skin to warm.

He welcomed the cold air but it still wasn't enough. Restlessly, he bounced his leg and tried to focus on something other than her, other than the desire he couldn't ignore building up inside him. He closed his eyes, intending to focus on his mission but there she was as she had been so many times in his mind; naked and waiting for him.

He could see her on the crisp, white rug in her chamber, laying on her back with her long, dark hair pooling around her like a fan. Kylo wanted to touch, to taste every inch of her body. He could remember every detail of the way she tasted on his tongue and he craved it like an addict now. Shifting in the chair, Kylo pulled at the clasp of his trousers with impatient fingers until his cock was free.

As soon as he gripped his erection, he let his head fall back. He could almost feel her on him now, tight and wet. He wound one arm behind his head while stroking in time to his imagination of Tess. Her hair spilling around his face, her breasts against him, it all drove him into a frenzy. He remembered how she mewled and whimpered right before she came.

Breath ragged, Kylo's strokes became quick and short, unable to control himself now. He let out a small groan deep in his throat as the heat seared through him. He felt it consume him, burning him up from the inside. His lips parted, brows furrowed, as it continued to build, seemingly never ending. And suddenly, he came with a few thrusts of his hips.

He let his head fall back again, staring at the ceiling as his orgasm high subsided quickly. He pursed his lips and closed his eyes. No matter how many times he imagined her, he would never be satisfied. He didn't think he could contain himself anymore around her.

* * *

 

I bit my lip as I watched General Vas move about his room. He was searching for two glasses after I suggested we drink something to have a bit of fun. The last time I had been in his room, two days ago, I had planted the bottle of absinthe in the back of his cabinet while he slept, hoping he wouldn't drink it before then, or suspect me of putting it there.

I had mixed some of the aphrodisiacs into the liquid, not exactly sure of what I was doing. I just held onto the hope that it would be enough to render him drunk and oblivious to my snooping.

He emerged from the cabinet with a tall, slender blue bottle. Not the one I had planned but it would have to do for the time being. He poured me a tall glass and grinned as he handed it to me. I sipped small, hoping he hadn't drugged me in return. I couldn't help grimacing at the taste. Vas laughed as he put a palm to my mouth. "Not much of a drinker, huh?"

"I've never had this kind." I gagged and placed the glass down on the table, looking over his shoulder to the cabinet. "Have anything more...tasty?"

Vas winked and went back to the cabinet. This time when he pulled away, my heart skipped several beats. The green bottle twinkled in the lights above us and I stared. "I had thought it was lost several days ago. But just this morning I found it in the back."

I blinked. It had been his to begin with? Which meant one of the girls had to have been in here to steal it. That whore, Evi, I'm sure. I tried to not to show my annoyance that he had brought her in here so soon after he had ordered Mother to beat me senseless. "This is something special to me...but I think after my little mistake the other day, I owe you something special."

Little mistake? Now I was beyond annoyed. I imagined beating him with several items around the room while he set a small spoon over the top of his glass. He placed a cube of sugar on it and poured green liquid from the bottle. I stared as it filled the glass, as if it were glowing. Suddenly, I dreaded the taste and effects on me. I hoped for my sake that General Vas would drink lots and fast so I could avoid being drunk.

He handed me what he had just prepared and made himself one of the same. I sniffed it and he chuckled to himself. "The last time I was in the citadel, this was very popular. They had it with every event. It made people want to fuck right there in the ball rooms." He winked, as if that fact alone made me want to rip my clothes off. I nodded and sipped.

It was bitter, but more like candy than the alcohol I had sipped earlier. I didn't instantly hate it, which made resisting it harder. The sugar had collected at the rim of the glass and I licked at it. It tickled my lips and I giggled, thinking the way Kylo Ren's mouth had left mine feeling when he kissed me. I took another sip and blinked at my glass. It was empty.

Shit.

I glanced up to see the quivering visage of Kylo Ren standing above me. No, wait. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. He wasn't here right now. From beside me, General Vas laughed and struggled to pour me another glass, half of the contents spilling onto the table. Apparently I had done well in mixing a potent drink. I hadn't meant to become it's victim as well though.

"I dream about fucking you." Vas slurred, handing me the glass. I nodded, knowing even in my dizzy state to keep my mouth shut. I forbid myself to say the name 'Kylo Ren' at all to him. I didn't trust myself not to say how much I dreamt about _him_. Vas tilted his head back and downed the glass in one single gulp. I watched as he burped, wiped his mouth on his sleeve and tried to set the glass on the table. It missed by a foot and shattered on the floor. I picked my feet up to avoid glass and liquid and had to grip the table to keep myself from falling backwards. "Oh fffuck." Vas stumbled, gripping the wall for support. "This stuff is really..." He put a finger in the air. "really strong."

I covered my gasp with my hand as he stumbled once and hit the floor with a loud thud that seemed to vibrate my chair. Through my foggy head, I knew I had to act quick. But as I stood, I felt the effects hit me again, dizzying me violently. I stumbled to my knees, hissing as glass sliced into the palm of my hand. I fell back on my ass and stared at the shard buried deep in my skin.

I had no choice but to pluck it out with a sharp hiss, letting the blood spill freely down my wrist. Shit. I couldn't leave a trail of blood to his hidden drawers. That would be something Kylo Ren couldn't get me out of. I sighed and stared up at the door, wishing he would walk in. I wanted him to come in, pick me up, and fuck me on Vas' bed as he laid out in the floor before us.

Maybe if I just took one more sip, I could make it come true. I turned and stared at the liquid in my class glass, so green. It was beautiful. I sipped it slowly, hoping it could help numb the pain in my wrist. _No_! What was I doing? I spat what I had in my mouth out on the floor. I grabbed a rag from the table, wrapping it tightly around my left wrist. I had to be careful. No more foolishness.

I couldn't leave any blood, any evidence that I was there. I struggled to my feet and used the bed to support myself as I walked. I kept my injured hand close to my chest, careful not to move it at all. I pulled at the nearly hidden handles and watched all three drawers slide open, the bottom further out than the middle and the first was only a small drawer. This was where he kept what he wore when he raped me to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. I ignored it and moved to the second drawer.

There were papers but none looked to be plans or blue-prints of any kind. Some were letters but I could care less about his correspondence to his mother. I shifted the papers back to where they had been until a letter had caught my eye. It wasn't written directly to Vas. It had a name in another language I wasn't familiar with written at the top. I skimmed over the translation at the bottom.

'We're prepared to become an ally in the face of war. The First Order and the Resistance will know our true power soon.' I blinked and glanced back at Vas behind me. I could only see his legs poking out from the foot of the bed, but he was still out cold. I took the letter, folded it and held it in the fingers of my injured hand before turning my attention to the third drawer.

I was slightly disgusted to find what looked to be hand-written desires in Vas' handwriting. I found several with my name on them, as well as the other girls of the harem. We were all subjects of his dark, twisted fantasies. The drawer was completely filled with them, what he would do to us as punishment, what he wanted to do with four of us at once, how we could pleasure him. The man was a maniac.

Thoroughly disgusted now, I rolled my eyes and closed all three of the drawers quietly, hoping I hadn't disturbed anything noticeable. I had to get the letter to Kylo Ren and fast. I hurried to the door and called for an escort. It didn't take long until the door was sliding open. "Oh! Please help me!" I pleaded with the Storm Trooper. I moved so he could see Vas. "We were drinking and he passed out!"

"Should I call a medic?" He asked and I blinked. Was he seriously asking me for an order?

"Uhm, no. I think he just needs to sleep it off. Could you clean this up too?" I pointed to the broken glass on the floor. The soldier used the communicator at his wrist to call for backup. Two more soldiers hurried in and I inched my way to the door. "I'm feeling rather sick, I'm going back to my room. I know the way."

"Wait, we have to escort you." He called over his shoulder as the three of them struggled to pick Vas' massive body up from the floor. I didn't wait for him to catch me. I turned and rushed down the corridor, my heart pounding from the alcohol and the rush of it all. I felt high.

I gathered my skirt in my free hand and slowed to a walk, my bare feet no longer slapping the tile floor. But I soon realized I had no idea where Kylo Ren's quarters were. I knew it was close to Vas' the day Mother had lead me there but I couldn't be sure. I rounded a corner and nearly colliding with a man dressed in a black uniform. I gasped, ready to explain why I was out in the halls but I realized I knew this man. General Hux gripped my shoulders as we had almost hit one another.

"Oh. I'm so sorry. I was just..."

"You're the girl, aren't you?" He pursed his lips and looked over my head, glaring down the hallway from where I had just ran.

"I mean...I don't know what girl you're referring to."

"Don't play dumb. It doesn't suit you." He spun me around and gripped my elbow, pulling me behind him. I wrenched my arm toward myself but he held tight. "Let me go!" General Hux jerked me along after him and I could only follow in fear as he took me back to where General Vas' room was. I could see the soldiers picking up the mess we had made. Fearing he would turn me over to them, I squeezed my eyes shut.

But we kept walking. I glanced over my shoulder to the General's room before Hux knocked three times, then two, then once on a door. I stared up at the man beside me. He had his eyes set straight ahead with a scowl on his lips. How could someone hate me so much without even knowing me? I assumed he hated everyone equally and I was just the unlucky one to have crossed his path today.

The door slid open and Kylo Ren stood before me, masked and dressed, but no hood. "General Hux."  
He greeted in slight surprise. Hux wrenched me forward and I stumbled into Kylo's chambers for the second time in my life. This time, however, I did not strip off my clothes.

"She seemed to be running. This girl that you put so much faith in." Hux snarled, sending me a glare of ice and daggers. I recoiled and smoothed my dress, hoping the blood from my hand hadn't stained the fabric. Kylo glanced from Hux to me and stepped closer to circle in front of me. I assumed Hux had no knowledge of my sexual trysts with his fellow superior. "You were running? After I persuaded you to assist me?" I could almost detect a hint of tease in his voice.

I squared my shoulders and glanced around him at Hux, sending him a most unfriendly stare right back. "Actually, I was looking for you." I held the paper up in my wounded hand. It had gotten blood on it. It had leaked from the towel and covered nearly the entire bottom half where the translation was. Kylo Ren took it from me and passed it to Hux without glancing at it. He kept his face turned toward me.

"She's bled all over the translation." Hux mumbled in annoyance, refusing to give me any praise.

"There are translators easily acquired in the equipment rooms." Kylo spoke calmly. I cleared my throat and stepped around him, feeling a bit uneasy at how hard he was staring at me. "I had read a bit before I took it. It said something like, 'The First Order and the Resistance will be powerless to stop us'." I shrugged, glancing over my shoulder to Kylo Ren. His head was turned to me, and I narrowed my eyes on him. I couldn't be sure, but it felt as if he were checking me out. My pulse raced at the thought and I felt a quiver between my thighs.

I had worn a backless dress for Vas' sake. It grazed the floor but had a long slit up to my hip on the right side. My skin prickled and I bit my lip, hoping Hux didn't realize how flushed I was becoming. He was frowning, holding the letter up to the light, struggling to read through my blood stain. As he turned his back to us, I ran my uninjured hand up my thigh to my hip where the top of the slit rest on my pelvis. I hooked my finger along the fabric and pulled it back toward my ass. I wore no underwear tonight and knew he was looking directly at my ass as I pulled my dress back just enough for him to get a good peek. The absinthe still coursed through my body, willing me to be so bold in front of a General who could order me dead in a matter of minutes.

"It seems my good friend, Vas," Hux turned around and I dropped my hand, focusing my attention on my injury as if i I had been doing so the entire time. "Is recruiting for himself." Hux cleared his throat and stared at me. "How did you find this?"

"I was asked to." I wanted to add that I always do what was asked of me, but felt it would be inappropriate in front of someone like Hux.

"Yes, well." He didn't want to admit that I had maybe impressed him. "You're obviously injured. I'll escort you to the medic on my way to retrieve a translator droid." Hux took me by the arm again, this time his fingers didn't squeeze as tight. But I did notice that there would be no wrenching myself free. He didn't appear to be very strong but I could feel his strength as he pulled me toward the door. I stumbled a bit as I tried to stare over my shoulder at Kylo Ren. He watched us leave, unmoving. Why didn't he stop us? Why was he just letting me leave? I frowned at him seconds before the door shut and Hux pulled me down the hallway.

* * *

 

 


	9. Born To Die

~~~

~~~

 _Feet don’t fail me now_  
Take me to the finish line  
Oh my heart it breaks every step that I take  
But I’m hoping at the gates,  
They’ll tell me that you’re mine

~~~

 

* * *

 

The next day, I woke to find a service droid rolling through the thresh hold of my chambers carrying a tray full of food. It seemed my diet was over. I grinned and leapt off the bed in a hurry, pulling my robe around my body. Even in front of the droids, I didn't like to be naked.

I stared down at the sizzling ham and eggs. A bowl of fruit sat beside a tall glass of ice cold milk. The droid hurried back out of the room and I took a seat in front of the tray, my stomach rumbling in protest for taking so long. There was a small, folded note in the corner of the tray. I plucked it with my first two fingers and turned it over. 'So sorry for our ruined night. -Vas'

Ugh. I crumpled the paper and tossed it to the side. I had just taken a bite of the eggs, savoring their fluffiness with a small groan when the door behind me slid open. I started and spun in the chair to General Vas strolling into my chambers. He smiled with a nod and dismissed the two troopers who had followed him. They stood on the other side of the door as it closed. I wiped my mouth and glanced to the floor where his note lay wrinkled. Vas nodded as he inspected my room, as if he were surprised I had kept it neat and tidy. As he busied himself with glancing at my shelf of bath salts and oils, I snatched the note off the floor and smoothed it back out against my stomach.

"Good morning." I said apprehensively.

"It is. No doubt I woke up with quite the headache but I was told you had your injuries as well." He spun back to me and smiled, tilting his head to one side to study me. "How's your hand?"

I held up my bandaged wrist and shrugged. "I've had worse. How are you? I didn't know what else to do after you passed out." I offered as sincere an apologetic smile as I could muster. Vas sat on the corner of my bed with a chuckle.

"I'm fine. The medics have a wonderful hangover cure. But, you know," Vas started, leaning back on my bed with his hands. I wanted to tell him to get up, that I didn't want anyone but me or Kylo Ren to be on my sheets. I wondered what Vas would do or say if I told him how many time I had touched myself to the thought of him, that even when he, Vas, was inside me, I only thought of Kylo Ren. "We have some unfinished business." His words took the hunger right out of my stomach.

He kicked off his shoes and began unbuttoning the line of clasps on his shirt. I sighed inwardly and glanced back at my breakfast. The first meat in months and I would have to sleep with someone before I could eat it. No. I wanted that ham. I shoveled the entire piece into my mouth, chewing fast but still savoring the flavor. I washed it down with the milk, popped a berry into my mouth and went to Vas. He pulled me onto him and made quick work of my clothes, tossing them to the floor behind me.

I was thankful that he used his mouth to kiss his way down my chest rather than my lips. At least with his face buried in my breasts I could roll my eyes without him seeing. "I dream of this every night, Tess."

'Sure, you do.' I thought to myself, running my fingers through the mop of greying brown hair. I thought back to his fantasies written in his drawer and suppressed a giggle. He spun me, throwing me back on the bed before flipping me to my stomach. I gasped, for his sake, as he jerked my hips back but I wasn't surprised. This seemed to be his most desired position. My ass was in the air, just as he liked it, and on the edge of the bed. I heard his belt buckle hit the floor and I sighed into my sheets.

His hand came down hard on my ass and I rose up, glaring back at him. He grinned. "Like that, do you?" I wanted to say no, but smiled instead, hoping I didn't look too annoyed. He entered me without any warning and this time I did gasp. I hated this position. He loved to be rough with me like this, smack me, bite my shoulders, thrust so hard that I felt I was my bones were jarring inside me.

Another slap to my ass and I winced in pain. They were getting more and more severe. He pulled out of me, grabbed a handful of hair at the back of my head and lifted me from the bed. I howled in pain but he merely tossed me to the floor. "On your knees, whore." I lifted myself to my knees and opened my mouth, knowing what would happen next.

I was wrong. This was the worst position. I often gagged so hard I would cry. But he did not stick his member in my mouth. Instead, his hands found my neck and he squeezed. My eyes were wide as I gripped his wrists. "Stop." I wheezed, pulling at his wrists with all of my strength. The cut on my hand opened once again and I cried out from the pain. "Vas."

He forced me on my back hard enough that my head hit the tile with a loud crack. Black swirled through my vision but I had no time to recover. Vas wrenched my legs open and snatched my bleeding palm in his fists. He forced my palm to my own breast where he smeared my blood over my skin. He traced a line down to my labia where he made a deep, satisfied sound in the back of his throat. I stared in horror as he slammed back inside me, one hand smearing blood along my pubic bone, the other around my throat.

He had never been like this. I could see murder in his eyes and I truly feared that I would die by his hands at that very moment. I clawed at his fingers with my free hand but he didn't relent. I felt as if my insides were being ripped apart while my throat was being crushed. "Uh, sir?" A muffled voice came through the door.

Vas, drenched in sweat and gritting his teeth, didn't stop. "What?!" He barked and I gasped for air. Answer him! I begged, distract him, come through the door. Vas pounded harder against me and I felt hot tears roll down my temple. "We've received word that Supreme Leader Snoke wishes to see you." His hand immediately left my throat but he kept thrusting until he came, deep inside me a few seconds later. I took in deep, lung fulls of air and coughed as my throat burned. Vas growled deep in his chest and took my hips in his hands now, lifting me half off the floor. I clawed at his fingers but it did no good. He squeezed my flesh so hard that the pain clouded my mind, dizzying me. He brought me to his chest and put his forehead against mine. I wanted to push him away, beat him back, but I knew it would do no good. My fists would feel like flies to him. I grimaced as he kissed me, sucking hard on my bottom lip. I wanted to vomit. And just when I thought he would bite my lip off, he dropped me back to the floor.

Jarred from the sudden impact, I put my hands over my face and sobbed, rolling onto my side as he wiped himself with my skirt and stood. He grabbed his shirt and slipped his pants up. Without a word, he snatched his boots from the floor and stormed out of my chambers, letting the door slide shut behind him.

Alone, I screamed into the floor though it only came out as a strangled whisper. I curled my fingers into a fist and beat them into the tile beneath me. I sat up, nausea hitting me like a tidal wave. I crawled to the toilet but couldn't make it in time. I threw up the contents of the breakfast and milk on the floor and continued to dry heave into the toilet.

Once my stomach had stopped rolling, I sat back against the tub. My throat was raw and tender to the slightest touch. He had to have suspected something. That was the only answer to his actions. But why the apology and breakfast? Perhaps it was poisoned...I stared at the chunks on the floor and turned my head in disgust. At least I was able to throw it up.

On my hands and knees, I crawled to the closet. I grabbed a pair of brown leggings and a dark tunic, slipping them on carefully. I needed to see a medic, immediately. But, I couldn't be seen leaving my chambers alone. I knew Vas would be back and if I was gone, he would kill me. I did the only thing I could think of. I pressed a button on the computer by the door and called for Mother.

* * *

 

The walk back from the hospital was quiet. They had given me a small bottle of some sort of elixir to ensure I wouldn't become pregnant. It had tasted like mud, but I drank every last drop. Mother reassured me it would work. They used it on stupid girls every week. I nodded, despite her usual insult to me. I was just thankful she was helping me at all. They made me stay in the infirmary for nearly four hours to ensure I didn't throw any of it up but I was thankful to be out of that room. They bathed me, fed me and though I couldn't be too sure, I think they were sorry for me.

Mother said little to me the entire day until we made it to my door. I was so tired that all I wanted to do was sleep until I was dead. I wiped the corner of my eye where it seemed tears wouldn't stop appearing. Mother opened the door and confirmed her identification. I followed behind her and collapsed on the foot of the bed, my eyes fixed to the floor where I had been so badly beaten. It didn't feel like the same room anymore.

I never imagined I would wish for the company of the harem girls before but being alone now felt worse than any insult they had ever said to me. "Rest." Mother commanded, making me look at her in confusion. "I'll make sure you have a few days to yourself." I wanted to believe that she would be that caring about me but I knew it was Kylo Ren's control over her. Still, it was a nice change.

"Thank you." I whispered, glancing down to my hands in my lap. Before she could close the door, a voice spoke from beside her. "You will leave us and forget you saw me." Kylo Ren stepped into the room and Mother nodded from behind him, closing the door with a loud click of the lock. Just the sight of him being in my room where so much pain had happened made my throat tighten.

I wanted to run into his arms but I couldn't even be sure I would be safe there. He was using me and no matter how much I was drawn to him, I couldn't forget that. Hot tears spilled down my cheeks as he stood, rooted to the spot. I know I looked like a mess. My lip was bruised, my neck was nearly completely purple and red, and I hadn't been able to eat very much at all.

"I think you should leave." I tried to say, but the words kept getting stuck in my throat. I took in a shuddering breath and stared at the window, trying to avoid looking him as hard as I could. Even with his face hidden and my body broken, I still felt the pull to him. It was something strong that spoke to my soul, to my very essence of existence and though I couldn't entirely understand it, I knew it had to mean something.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye, his dark image blurred by my tears. He moved forward and stopped only his knees touched my bed. It was impossible now, to send him away. Why was he doing this to me? I knew he was powerful, that he could make anyone do what he wanted...was he making me want him? If he was, he was crueler than Vas ever could be.

I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to feel anything. I shook my head, still keeping my eyes off of him. He pulled at the helmet covering his head and dropped it to the floor. I had to close my eyes to keep myself from looking. But it was no use. I knew his face now, had been dreaming of it since the day he had first kissed me. My lips parted as he touched my face. I couldn't help leaning into his hand.

I blinked my eyes open to see him studying me closely. He was almost unreal. I had to touch him to be sure he wasn't a dream. His skin was warm and soft. I pressed my palm to his face, tracing a line down his jaw with my fingers. He closed his eyes and took in a deep, shuddering breath as if he were trying very hard to be calm. It made my stomach flutter.

"I will kill him for this." He murmured against my fingertips. I bit my bruised lip, not sure how to tell him that I had already promised myself the same thing.

"I think he knows what I did."

"No," Kylo shook his head and knelt on the floor in front of me. He pulled me closer to him so that my legs parted on either side of his chest. "If he knew, you'd be dead."

"He'll come back and finish what he started. I've been thinking all day about how I could kill myself so he wouldn't have the satisfaction of doing it." I stared at my hands in my lap. He shook his head and took my face in his hands, making me look at him. "Don't say that. I won't let anything happen to you."

I scoffed and leaned away, throwing my hands into the air in defeat. My chin quivered as I tried to force the lump in my throat back down. It refused and blocked my words from forming. I pushed myself back onto the bed and shook my head. "Something already did happen to me. I'm not saying it's your fault but...please don't say you can protect me. I'll do what I can to get your information but I think you should go now."

"No. You won't go back to him." Kylo stood to his feet and I stepped off the bed. He stood tall over me but I wouldn't let it intimidate me. Despite the fear inside me, I truly believed he wouldn't hurt me. Not physically anyway. He was more than capable of destroying my heart.

"I'd rather die tonight than see Vas succeed at whatever he's planning. I want him to know how it feels to be powerless, to be beaten and humiliated. And to do that, I have to see him again."

"Don't be stupid." Kylo murmured with a shake of his head. I couldn't help the twitch at the corner of my lips. I crossed my arms over my chest and shrugged. "For once, I'm not being stupid."

A silence fell between us and I sighed. I wanted to touch him, I wanted his arms to wrap around me and I wanted him to tell me I would be safe forever with him. But I knew it never would be. Just the air around him felt dangerous, electrified. I could feel it any time he was near and though it thrilled me, I couldn't deny that I was terrified of what it was. I bit my lip and looked up into his face through my lashes. "Will you stay?"

 

"Only if you wish me to." His hands brushed my hair behind my shoulder, fingertips fluttering over my skin as soft as velvet. I closed my eyes and nodded. "Don't leave." I whispered, pulling him closer to me. 

* * *

 

 


	10. Strange Desire

~~~

 

~~~

 _This is as good a place to fall as any_  
_We'll build our alter here_  
 _Make me your Maria_  
 _I'm already on my knees_

~~~

 

* * *

 

AN- I feel as if I should give a small warning. This chapter is very explicit. Very.

* * *

 

 

 

"Don't leave." I whispered, pulling him closer to me. My chest was against his and I could feel his heart bounding beneath the dark fabric of his robes. I watched my hands move on their own, up his chest to his shoulders to slide through his hair. It was soft and impossibly black.

Kylo leaned forward and took my legs in his hands, lifting me. I hooked my ankles around his back and leaned my head back, spilling my hair behind me. His lips touched my tender neck but he was careful and gentle. He kissed my bruises from my collar bone to my chin until he caught my lips against his. It was soft to begin with and I curled my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. His hands were holding me tight against him as he turned us toward the bed.

I protested the break of our kiss with a whimper until he laid me back on the bed. I watched with my lip clamped between my teeth as he was quick to remove his belt and peeled the hooded cloak from his chest. I had seen him like this once before in his room with General Hux but I hadn't had time to appreciate how he looked. The black cloth hugged his body close and it was so easy to see the curve of his muscles beneath them.

Kylo lifted the shirt from his body and I sat up on my elbows. I had been so used to Vas' enormous chest covered in hair that seeing someone so sleek and pale made me nearly dizzy with desire. I blinked, wishing I could pinch myself to prove that I wasn't dreaming. My hands were tingling, begging me to reach out to him, to touch his skin. He ran a hand through his hair before sliding a knee onto the bed.

I could only stare as he crawled toward me, eyes never leaving mine. I was frozen to the spot, watching him move up my body until he stopped at my waist. His fingers found the hem of my tunic and he gathered the fabric and pulled it up. I sat up and let him undress me. His lips found my shoulder as he tossed my tunic to the floor.

I let my head fall back as he lifted me from the bed with one hand and brought me against him, his mouth searing a line from my shoulder to my breasts. His tongue found my nipple and I clung to him to keep myself from falling back. Every touch of his lips and his tongue to my body was indescribable. I never thought I could feel as good as he made me feel that night with his mouth but tonight was something I had never felt.

My hands couldn't stop touching him, over his shoulders, down his arms so strong as they held me up over the bed. I had trouble believing he was real. He laid me back onto the bed and kissed me again, his lips searing into mine like fire. I couldn't get enough. His hands reached between us and pulled at the strings of my leggings.

As soon as they were loosened, his fingers dipped between my legs. He groaned against my mouth as he felt how wet I already was. I gasped as he drew a circle around my clit over and over until I felt as if I were about to come undone. He pulled his fingers from my leggings and I whined in protest. "I want to taste you." He whispered against my mouth. I nodded, my heart pounding beneath my chest.

I had wanted nothing else since that night he had blind folded me and pleasured me with his mouth. I craved it. He stepped off the bed and curled his fingers around the waist of my pants, pulling them slowly to my feet. I crossed my legs at the knees, suddenly feeling quite self conscious. I had never been stared at the way Kylo's eyes studied me, as if he were trying to see as much of me as he could at once.

He shook his head and pulled my knees apart. I held my breath as he pulled me to the edge of the bed by my ankles. I gasped as my thighs hit his chest, his strength surprising me. "I've craved your taste since I first had it." He murmured against the skin against my thigh. "Do you crave it?"

"Yes." I whispered, my hands sliding through my hair. I arched my back as he moved toward my center.

"Tell me how badly you want it." Oh gods, I could come just from his voice. He was so close now, his lips only inches away from where I needed them to be.

"Please. Please, Kylo I can't wait." My breath was ragged, my body quivering, and I thought I would die waiting for him to move. I felt him smile against the flesh of my sex before his tongue found me. I whimpered, nearly crying from the feel of him. He moved slow, teasing as he made long strokes with the tip of his tongue. It was dizzying, the feeling of pure desire coursing through my body.

I had never felt so close to heaven before. My legs trembled but he held them tightly in place. I covered my face with my hands as he moved faster now. My entire body felt as if it were burning now but it felt so good. I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I fell back against the bed, raising my hips to his mouth. He groaned against me as I shook, pleasure rippling through my body in waves. "Oh, gods." I breathed, my heart fluttering. I peeked out from behind my hands as he sat back and smiled, wiping his chin with the back of his hand.

Laughter bubbled in my throat and I collapsed against the bed, grinning up at the ceiling. It felt amazing to be able to laugh. Kylo pressed a few kisses to my stomach, along my ribs and to my breasts as he crawled onto the bed. I curled my fingers through his hair, gently pulling him toward me. "You taste so good." He whispered into my throat, pressing small kisses along my jaw. "I want to feel you from the inside."

I bit my lip, my face growing hot. I had never been spoken to the way he did. He made me feel so wanted, so desired. I brushed his hair from his eyes as I pushed against his chest, leading him to lay on his back. I threw my leg over him to sit over his lap. I slid back, my ass brushing against his hardness that pushed against his pants.

It felt almost intimidating and I could feel my fingers shaking as I pulled at the clasps of his pants. He let his head fall back against the pillows with a low moan as I pulled at his cock. It was thick and so hard I didn't think I could wait. "Do you want it?" I asked, making him sit up with his brow furrowed. I smiled as sweetly as I could and pulled my fingers over him.

"More than anything."

I looked down at him as I rose up on my knees, positioning myself over his cock but I didn't let him inside me yet. "Beg for it." His head fell back again as he pushed his hips toward me. I rose higher and clucked my tongue. "Beg for me, Kylo Ren."

"Please." He looked up at me, eyes pleading and full of lust and rage. "Please, fuck me." His hands grabbed my hips before I could move and lowered me down onto him. My breath froze in my chest as he filled me so completely that I wanted to cry. I didn't move for several seconds, trying to find space for him. I wiggled my hips from side to side, making me groan. He sat up, his hands moving to my back.

We moved together, our hips rolling against on another's. I clutched his shoulders tightly as he pressed his forehead against my chest. Our breaths were quick and hot against each other, and I felt as if I couldn't last much longer. The slow build up of desire felt different than before. I could almost feel something else entirely. Something I had never felt before.

Kylo hands pulled me closer but we were already pressed hard against each other. He stared up at me as we moved in sync and I was hypnotized by his gaze. The entire room melted away from us and I could only see him. My lips parted and I sucked in tiny gulps of air. His fingers wrapped around the back of my neck, forcing me to keep my eyes on his. "Come for me." He whispered and I could only nod.

He moved faster against me, thrusting harder. I couldn't move. I let him take over and it didn't take long before I was coming again. As my body trembled from the force of my orgasm, my vision grew dark around the edges. My blood boiled in my veins and I feared that I was dying. I could hear nothing but a static, buzzing around my head.

He gasped suddenly, shaking me from my daze and shuddered beneath me, his hands gripping my back tightly as he came. Our chests rose and fell fast and we were slick with sweat. I didn't know how long we stayed together, staring at each other. I searched his eyes for an answer to what I had just experienced. It felt as if the entire world was vibrating, humming with a power I didn't understand.

He was the first to look away, pressing his forehead to my shoulder, breathing hard against my skin. I found it hard to do anything aside from stare at the wrinkled sheets behind me. I felt different. Every inch of me buzzed with electricity as if I had been surrounded by it. Was this what he felt every day? Was this anything beyond my imagination? It had to be.

"Tess." He murmured and I blinked myself out of my trance. I leaned back and looked at him. Before he could say anything, I stopped him with a finger to his lips.

"Will you sleep here tonight?" I didn't want to admit that I didn't want to be alone, that I was afraid of what I had felt inside me. And it was the first time I had felt truly afraid of _him._

* * *

 


	11. Breathe

Chapter 11: Breathe

* * *

 

~~

_Every single night pray the sun'll rise  
Every single time make a compromise_

_~~_

* * *

 

 

I woke alone the next morning. Frowning, I ran my hand along the length of the sheets where the previous night he had laid next to me. I turned in the bed to inspect the rest of the room but it was empty and quiet. My breakfast from the day before was still sitting there, cold and deserted.

A part of me was relieved. I needed to rest, needed a break so my body could heal. I brought my hands up to the bruises along my neck and collar bone. They were still tender to the touch but instead of seeing Vas when I touched them, I could feel Kylo Ren's lips kissing my flesh. My stomach fluttered at the memories of the previous night.

It had been more than I expected it to be. Since that dream of us in the forest, I knew if we were ever to be intimate it would have been incredible but in reality it was something much more intense. I had never felt like I had.

Even now, hours after, I could feel the buzz of electricity surrounding me. Static gathered along my arms and legs, danced across my hips and breasts. It was beyond anything physical I had ever felt in my entire life and I suspected it was something he felt often.

Licking my lips, I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling above me, wondering where he had disappeared to. I was being silly. He obviously had more important things to do and worry about, like Vas. He couldn't find out about us, or that I had stole something from his room.

Kylo had insured me that if he suspected me, I would be dead but if Vas hadn't been interrupted, he very likely would have finished the job. I shivered, wondering if Vas could be that cruel to murder someone while fucking them. I didn't want to know the answer, though I suspected I already knew it.

I pushed my palms into my eyes and scrubbed at the sleep that still collected at the corners of my eyelids. Sighing, I knew I needed to get out of bed, but my body screamed in protest as I tried to sit up. Maybe today I would have time to rest. Rolling onto my side, I focused on the tiny window ahead of me. I could only see the sky from my position, grey and clouded. It didn't take long until I was back asleep.

~~~

The sound of the door sliding open sent me upright in the bed, gasping as I pulled the sheets up to my chest. Vas stood in the doorway, darkening the entire room. My heart beat hard and fast against my rib case as he stood in silence, one hand holding the door from closing as he stared hard at me.

"I'll only ask you once." He finally spoke, making me start.

"Alright." I whispered, my voice tight in my throat.

He let the door close and I felt trapped like a wounded animal. I had no where to flee. He had cornered me and I would die this time. "Did you take something of mine?" Oh gods. My vision blurred as his question sunk into my soul. I knew I had to lie to save my life but I didn't know if my trembling voice would betray me.

I shook my head. It was all I could muster the strength to do.

"It was something of great importance to me." He paced the length of floor in front of my bed, tracing my sheets with his middle fingers. I hoped he didn't suspect me. "Something I need." He faced me now, his eyes wild. This predator/prey scenario was turning him on. I felt the bile rise into my throat and if I had eaten anything in the past day, I would be throwing it up on my bed.

Instead, I shook my head again and gripped the sheets with white-knuckled fists. Vas put his knee on the bed and slowly crawled up to me. His fingers ran up the length of my shin, to my thigh. I wanted to kick him off but I feared he would snap my leg in two with his bare hands. "You have taken it." He murmured, pressing a kiss to the center of my hips through the sheets.

I began to shake as I stared down at the top of his head. I scanned the bed and table beside me, searching for anything I could bash down onto his skull. I was helpless. His knees were on either side of me now, his fingers pulling the sheets from my hands despite my desperate attempt to hold them against me.

He walked his fingers up my chest to the space between my breasts and I feared he could feel my heart now. It was beating so fast I felt faint. Surely he could hear it pounding like a drum. "You've stolen it, and you're keeping it here." He pressed a kiss to my chest, directly over my heart.

He was going to kill me. This was it.

I closed my eyes, my lips parting with tears slipping down my cheeks. I waited for the knife to plunge into my chest, the blast from a gun, anything to end my wretched life. Flashes of my abuse and emptiness fluttered through my head. I never got to set my feet onto the grass once more.

"My heart." Vas murmured tenderly against my breast. My eyes snapped open and I gasped in a shuddering breath. His heart? I stole his heart? I wanted nothing more than to kill him right in that moment. My bones ached from being so tense and I surprised myself with a laugh. "Your heart?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes." He was oblivious to my surprise. Was this his idea of being romantic? "I've never felt this way for another human being." He pressed his lips to my nipple and I had never felt more turned off in my entire life. My fingers trembled still, but more to control the urge to push him away. He was still very capable of killing me. I didn't need to push him.

"You're in my thoughts every second of the day. I see your body, your face, these breasts...I get no relief from you until I'm beside you." He sat up, making me lean further away from him. The knot in my stomach was growing. I didn't want him to feel this way about me. I wanted him to forget I even existed. Vas pressed a hand to my cheek, pulling my face toward his. "Tess." I wanted to throw up now more than before. "Will you be my wife?"

 

* * *

 

AN- Short chapter but I had to stop it here otherwise it would have been way too much for one chapter. The shit is about to hit the fan. (also, SO sorry for the hiatus. School is killing me this semester >.<)

 


	12. Don't Worry Boys

Chapter 12: Don't Worry Boys

* * *

 

_ _

_~Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me?  
Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?~_

 

* * *

 

General Hux was in a foul mood. He paced the floor of the room, his boot heels echoing sharply with each step. The table beside him was long and meant to be used as a meeting area but he was alone now. Well, not alone. Behind him, Kylo Ren sat in one of the chairs, silent and watching his every move.

Angrily, Hux lashed out and sent one of the black, rolling chairs onto its side. "You've nothing to say on this?" He shouted, his eyes narrowing on his companion. "Vas is making a farce out of the entire New Order and you just sit there."

"Should I be throwing a tantrum instead?" Kylo Ren's voice was calm behind his mask. "We have nothing to incriminate General Vas yet."

"Oh yes." Hux spat, "nothing at all. What about the letter the girl found?"

"What of it?"

"And now he's to marry a whore?" He ignored Kylo Ren's question and paced to the window that stretched the entire length of the room. The training grounds were beneath them. Troops were sparring and partaking in target practice. Most of the ones practicing looked barely old enough to hold a weapon, let alone fight.

"I expect it's part of his plan. To marry beneath him to show the people he's no different than they are."

"He's a fool." Hux gripped the window sill and stared down at the gymnasium full of recruits. There had to have been a thousand in the vast sparring gym. The number of recruits was astounding but Hux was cursing them all. "This wouldn't be a problem if we could clone the soldiers. We wouldn't need men like Vas to seduce the public with lies and charisma."

"Be patient. Vas' fall will happen in due time."

General Hux sighed heavily and turned, his mouth open to protest but it would fall only on his own ears. Kylo Ren was halfway through the door, his robes billowing behind him like smoke.

~~~~~~

He was furious. It blinded him, filled his head with pure rage until he could see nothing but red. He snatched the light saber at his hip, spun it in his palm and it flared to life, igniting his darkened room with the same fury he felt. He could feel the Force tingling at his fingertips and he used it to magnify his strength as he ripped through the room.

Seared feathers from the mattress flew around his head as he whipped the saber across the table beside him, sending metal shards ripping through the room. Breathless, Kylo Ren stood in the mess he had created. It wasn't enough. He paced in circles, spinning the handle of the saber at his side. Several times the glowing plumes grazed his wrists, searing his flesh and the leather of his gloves. He welcomed the pain, used it to fuel the fire of hatred inside him.

It took every ounce of control inside him to keep him from finding General Vas. He wanted to rip his body to pieces, either with his hands or his saber. He wanted to watch him die.

Tess' face flashed suddenly in his mind and he gripped his helmet, pulling it away from his face. He breathed deep lungfuls of air to calm himself but it did little to cool his fury. The saber at his side extinguished, plunging the room back into darkness save for the tiny embers of burning feathers and fabric.

He knew she was only a pawn in this twisted game. She would have never agreed to be his wife. Vas was forcing her yet again.

His free hand curled into a fist just as an alarm sounded in his room. Kylo Ren spun and stared at the computer screen at the side of his chamber door. "Attention Recruitment Base." A friendly, female voice called out. "Your immediate presence is requested in the courtyard. Attention Recruitment Base. Your immediate presence..."

Kylo Ren slipped his helmet back on and hit the computer panel to open his door. Out in the hallway, the lights on the ceilings were flashing red as the announcement echoed down the endless hallways. Was it for the entire base? A few Storm Troopers were hurrying down the hallway. They glanced quickly in his direction but made no attempt to explain what was happening. Their pace quickened as they passed.

A sick feeling wound its way through Kylo Ren's stomach, latching onto his insides like a virus. He emerged from his room following the trail of obedient soldiers. The announcement continued to echo loudly in that infuriating, cheerful voice. He wished he could send his light saber into each speaker he passed.

It wasn't long until General Hux had found him, his hair slightly askew from the frenzy of the announcement. "Be on your guard." He instructed, as if Kylo Ren needed the advice. "I don't have a good feeling about this."

Together, they followed the crowd until they were outside the base. The air was cold and wet with a rain that they could feel in the air all around them, threatening to pour at any second. The soldiers were already lining up in formation by the thousands and Kylo Ren paused at the base of a stage two stories higher than the ground floor. Vas was pacing atop the stage, spewing instructions to a few lower ranked individuals before he caught sight of Hux and Kylo Ren. "Gentlemen!" He called, waving them to the stage with a thick palm, eyes wild and bright with excitement. Hux glanced to the masked man behind him before they headed up the stage.

A microphone stood in the middle of the stage and Kylo Ren swept the area with his eyes, trying to find a clue as to what the hell Vas had planned. His heart was beating hard and it nearly stopped completely in his chest when he saw her. She stood beside the group of whores, shivering in their thin dresses, but Tess didn't seem to be a part of them. They hudled together and all had matching looks of terror. The fat Madame was beside them at the back of the line, tapping her rod against her palm, ready to lash out if need be.

Tess' eyes were on him instantly. Her face was filled with terror and she mouthed something that he couldn't make out from across the stage. General Vas' massive body stepped up to them, breaking his line of sight. His fingers twitched around the hilt of his saber as Vas greeted them with a grin. "Time to see a good, old fashioned punishment." With a devious wink and smirk, Vas spun and made his way to the microphone.

The hush that fell over the crowd as his arms rose in the air was eerie. The amount of control he had over the entire fleet made Kylo Ren feel uneasy. Suddenly their task seemed quite daunting. Kylo Ren kept his face foward, but his eyes were on Tess. Even on the opposite side of the stage he could see was trembling. She was covered more than the other girls as far as clothing went. She had on a floor length black dress that came to her collar bone and a gauzy fabric draped over her shoulders that grazed the back of her knees.

She was looking at him too, shaking her head as her lips were mouthing something to him. He wanted to cross the stage in that moment. He wanted to take her in his arms and protect her but he stood still, his feet cemented to the stage out of his duty to the Empire.

"I pride myself in this fleet." Vas started, his voice booming over the speakers. "I do. I'm proud of what this recruitment base has accomplished. Just yesterday we had 5000 join. The Surpreme Leader has seen what we have done and sends two of his finest to show his appreciation." Vas turned to wave a hand toward Hux and Kylo Ren. "But this pride does not come without its fault. I fault myself for being too trustworthy. I see the good in people and I want to see the good in my soldiers. I like to reward them for their hard work."

He paused as the fleet of soldiers shouted in unison, their fists raised in the Empiric salute. Vas settled them down and turned to the opposite stage. "I too like to reward myself." He curled a finger in the air and Tess' shoulders slumped. She gathered her skirt in her hands and slowly moved to the center of the stage to stand by his side. This time Kylo Ren's feet did move. He took a step toward them, an action only noticed by the man at his side. He shut his eyes and bit hard into his lip to keep his body under control.

Tess joined General Vas at his side, and winced as he put his arm around her, his hand resting on her backside. Something new raged inside Kylo Ren, turning his insides into flames. Jealousy coursed in his veins, clouding his mind. He couldn't help reaching out with his thoughts, forcing Vas to move his hand up to her shoulder instead. Even there, it sent Kylo Ren's thoughts into a jealous frenzy. He hated the thought of him touching her.

"As I'm sure most have heard, there will be a wedding soon." Another shout from the soldiers made Vas grin, but silenced them with a hand in the air. "Yes, it's a very happy occasion. Which is why my next announcement pains me to make." Tess looked back over his massive shoulder to Kylo Ren. Her face was white. "It seems I've invied a spy into this base and for that I appologize. Not just to you," He gestured to the fleet of soldiers, "but to the entire Empire. I took these girls in, gave them everything they could want. They betrayed me. And since they won't expose the wretched whore that was sent to spy on the Empire, I will execute them all."

"Please, Vas, don't." Tess pleaded with him her whispered words echoing through the speakers, but he stepped around her and crossed the stage, leaving her alone beside the microphone. She pressed her hands to her mouth and watched with wide eyes. The Madame cracked her rod against the hip of one of the girls and Kylo Ren now noticed that they were all trembling, all crying and pleading with Vas for Mercy. From the steps beside the stage, twelve troopers hurried, their boots pounding like a drum of war to Vas and formed a line in front of the terrified girls. They hudled together, screaming a chorus of 'please' now as the troopers raised their blasters.

"This is what happens when you betray the Empire." Vas turned his back on them and strolled to the center of the stage, his hand raised. He snatched Tess by the waist and pulled her against him, ignoring her pleas to spare them. "Fire." The word signaled a chorus of screams and wails that were quickly silenced by the blast of gunfire. The quiet that followed put a colder chill in the air. Twelve bodies hit the stage with thickening thumps and the soldiers on the ground whooped and rose a fist to Vas.

"Don't worry boys, they will be replaced." He smirked to the crowd and steered Tess toward the stairs. Tears streamed down her face but she didn't look toward him this time. The soldiers stood at attention until General Vas disappeared back into the base. The lesser ranked men followed him one by one until the stage was empty.

Rain fell in heavy, fat drops that thumped the stage floor like a drum. Kylo Ren took a step toward the stairs but a hand snatched at his elbow and he paused. General Hux' mouth was set in a hard line. He ignored the rain pelting his face as he stared hard into Kylo Ren's mask. "Don't think that I'm stupid. If your feelings get in the way this time, I will not hesitate to make light of your insolence to the Supreme Leader." With another icy glare, Hux turned on his heel and hurried down the stairs.

Kylo Ren stared out at the fleet of storm troopers, as the thousands of them made their way, single file back into the base. He stood in the rain until the last one had made its way back inside.

* * *

 

AN- What's this? Two chapters posted in less than 2 days? I'm feeling good about getting this story concluded before summer break! Writers block has officially disappeared! Next chapter will be back to Tess' POV but I just love writing Kylo Ren. His head is such a fun place to be. 

 


	13. Cold

Chapter 13: Cold

* * *

 

_~_ _I like the sad eyes, bad guys_  
Mouth full of white lies  
Kiss me in the corridor,  
But quick to tell me goodbye~

* * *

 

 

  
They were dead. Their bodies thrown away like yesterday's garbage and I couldn't stop shaking. No matter how many layers I put on, my body was freezing cold. I squeezed my fingers into fists a few times but it was no use. They were chilled to the bones.

I couldn't get the image of those other girls out of my head. They had never liked me and vice versa, but I had never wanted them to die. I shut my eyes as the sight of them being shot replayed over and over in my head like a sick joke. Each time I watched them slump to the ground, lifeless, eyes blank and empty, I felt nauseous.

Vas had suspected Evi of being the spy, but of course she was innocent. She was just a whore who was good at what she was forced into. And now she was dead. But, what could I have done? The truth would have ended with me being killed instead.

I sat on the edge of my bed, holding my stomach with both my arms. I wanted my freedom, I needed it...but I had so much guilt building inside me that I was convinced that I didn't deserve it. What I deserved was to die with them...If it were for my involvement in this stupid plan nothing would be different. I would still be in my tiny cage, destined to see the outside world through a window for the rest of my life.

That thought terrified me more.

I blinked, surprised by the tears that slipped down my lashes and fell to my hands. How selfish of me to cry more for my freedom than their lives. The door to my chamber slid open and I gasped, quickly wiping the moisture from my eyes. Vas and Mother came into my room and I stood, my stomach tight with fear. "Hello, my dove." He kissed the top of my head.

"Hello."

"I wanted to check on you. I know you're not used to the casualties of betrayal, but it was necessary to rid the base of their treachery." He pulled me into his chest but I found no comfort there. I stared at the window as he ran a palm down the back of my shoulders, smoothing my hair. Freedom, think of your freedom, I told myself. "I won't have my future destroyed by a few cunts. Too much relies on the next few weeks..." He whispered and my brows furrowed. Was he talking to me, or just talking?

With a sigh, he pulled away and held me at arms length, studying my face. "No more tears. Today is a day for happiness." My stomach twisted.

"What's today?"

"You're going to be my wife soon and I think you know what that means." Vas strolled to the bed and collapsed on the edge, crossing his ankles out in front of him. I glanced between him and Mother who still stood in the doorway. I shook my head. Vas pursed his lips, annoyed that he would have to spell it out for me. "Tess, the things that I'm...preparing for. They're dangerous things, war, battles. I've built a legacy here for myself--and the Empire." He corrected himself quickly and cleared his throat. "If something were to happen to me, I would die leaving nothing behind but what I've accomplished here."

Oh gods. I felt sick again.

"I'm discontinuing your monthly judgments. No more serums." He stood now and crossed the room, laying a meaty palm on Mother's shoulder. Her lips curled into a cruel smile. "You'll be evaluated today to be sure you're ready for pregnancy."

He nodded and disappeared out of the room, leaving Mother to watch me as I gripped the bed for support. This wasn't happening. I would not have his child. "C'mon, _dove_." She mocked, as she threw a plain, grey shift dress at me. "You'll be examined in the infirmary."

~~~~

The infirmary was cold. I was miserable as I sat back on the bed, my legs spread and stuck in a pair of menacing stirrups as a droid examined my insides. I had never felt more violated in my entire life. It's one thing to force me to fuck a person, but forcing me to carry a child? It made the bile rise into my throat every time I imagined myself swollen with Vas' baby inside me.

As Mother had led me down the hallway, I had vowed to myself I would do all I could to prevent that from happening. I would not bring a child like that into the universe. I would rather die than give Vas an heir to whatever empire he was building. The thought of him dying heirless helped me get through the next few hours. 

To be honest, picturing all sorts of horrible things happening to that man helped me through a lot. My fists tightened and I winced as the droid withdrew the device from my insides and backed away. I was allowed to sit up finally and I pulled my shabby dress down over my hips to cover myself.

"Get up." Mother barked and I slid off the table, smoothing the fabric down my sides and stomach.

I wanted to ask if I was equipped to carry a child, or if maybe by some miracle I had been born without the right organs to accomplish such a task. She said nothing, so neither did I. I folded my arms over my chest as the droid computed it's findings and printed out results that I couldn't decipher if I tried.

"I'll get you back to your room and then send these to General Vas for reading." She eyed me up and down before sneering and turning toward the door. I followed a few steps behind her, sighing heavily as I folded my arms over my chest. The infirmary was enormous with rows upon rows of beds. Some had curtains pulled around them, but the majority were open. A few soldiers, sick or injured from sparring, watched the two of us as we made our way through the main room of beds.

Nurses tended to their cuts and bruises and I flushed, hating the way they stared at me, as if I were nothing more than a piece of meat to gobble up. I shook my head and made sure to stare back just as hard, hoping my body language told them exactly what I thought of them. I squared my shoulders and tossed my hair back.

Mother punched her code into the door and it opened with a heavy thunk. I marched out of the infirmary and into one of the main hallways of the base. Troopers marched all around us, staring at me as we passed. I hated the way my body was responding to their stares. It gave me a strange sense of pride that I was untouchable. What would they think if they knew I had seduced one of the most powerful men not only on base but in the Empire.

I had never thought if it that way, honestly. Kylo Ren wanted me just as much as I wanted him, and he was so intimidating, so frightening. What did that make me?Was I more now than just a beaten, broken whore? Or was I developing delusions of grandeur?  A tiny part of me wished I was preparing my body for him. I imagined the hallway melting away, no Mother, no soldiers...I could almost feel him watching me walk toward him. I pictured him standing at the end of the hall, masked and terrifying in all black, waiting to rip my clothes off of me.

He watched me move toward him, as still as a statue, just as he had done in my dream.

I bit my lip as Mother and I passed by the spot I had envisioned him standing. She took us up a small stairwell that spiraled to the left for several floors. I wanted to take them two at a time, to hurry to my room so I could be alone with my fantasies. I would think of him tonight, think of us, and tomorrow I would concentrate on destroying Vas' plans.

I breathed a sigh of relief as we turned into a familiar area of the base. I could see the baths that we had used and my heart ached for the girls that I would never pass by again. At this point, I didn't know what was worse; death or pregnant with Vas' child. I shuddered, forcing my thoughts back to what made me happy.

Before I could conjure up a fantasy to think of for the night, a popping sound made both Mother and I spin on our heels. Ten feet behind us a device lay twisted and broken, sparking electricity on the floor. She moved closer to inspect it. "It's one of the cameras..What the f--" Mother's words were silenced by another pop and another behind us. I jerked my head to the ceiling where the cameras began falling one by one, electric sparks twitching from where they once sat. I bit my lip between my teeth hard enough to taste blood. 

My heart bounded into my throat and I wanted to cry out as a dark figure rounded the corner. I stood patient, my blood boiling with lust as the woman at my side stomped ahead of me. "This--This is an outrage--unacceptable!" Mother stammered over her words, glancing between the both of us and took two pounding steps toward the direction Kylo Ren was. With one hand he lifted her into the air and sent her sliding back into a supply closet door, her boot heels squealing as she went. The door closed in her face before she had time to even realize what was happening. My heart pounded in my ears, my body responding to the dark energy that suddenly filled the hallway.

I stared, my lips parted in awe as he quickly closed the distance between us. My feet moved on their own, taking two steps back out of the old fear he used to instill inside me. I felt a tremble of static around me, making the hairs on my arms and neck stand straight up. The floor fell away from my feet and I gasped, realizing I was in the air. In two quick seconds, his mask was off, thumping along the floor as he brought me to him.

His arms surrounded me and I sighed as warmth flooded through my entire being. I gripped his shoulders as he pulled my legs around his waist and pressed my back against the wall of the hallway. The thought of being caught flared into my mind like a siren but quickly melted away as his lips found mine. He held me firm against the wall, his hands snaking up the skirt of my dress.

Flames swirled inside me, hot and wild, as he kissed me deep, kissed me like he would devour me. My hands were everywhere, never satisfied with where they were. I needed to touch his skin, needed our flesh to press hot against each other. He broke our kiss and I let my head fall back with a thump, my breath heavy and ragged as I drew in lungfuls of air. His hips pinned me in place and his hands moved to the skirt of my dress. The fabric ripped like it was made of paper. I gasped as the air hit my suddenly naked skin.

"Not here." I murmured against his temple but my words were nothing to him. "We'll be seen." I tried to push him away but I knew it was useless to try. His mouth felt too good on my neck, biting and sucking at the dip between my collar and shoulder for me to protest. I didn't care if Mother watched us right now. I just didn't want him to stop.

"I don't care." His voice was dark and hoarse and send a wave of desire slamming through my soul. He dipped a hand between us and my heart skipped a beat in anticipation. In a matter of seconds he pulled himself free of his pants and was inside me. My breath caught in my throat as he filled me. I gripped the thick fabric of his robes, my knuckles white. He stayed still, nuzzled against my throat, breathing heavy and deep.

As he began to move, I gasped, my lungs aching but it was impossible to breathe. The world melted away and it was only us. I suspected that in that moment if I died, it would be a happy death. His movements were slow. With every thrust deep within me, I could feel myself shaking apart.

His fingers wound their way through my hair and he pulled my head back gently, forcing me to look in his eyes. Just as it had the other night, the energy surrounding us felt charged, as if any moment we would burn up in each other's arms. My eyes fluttered close as his thrusts quickened. Our breaths matched, hard and fast and I could feel the familiar coil in the pit of my soul.

It didn't take long until I was crying out, gripping his arms to keep me from spilling to the floor as an orgasm ripped through me. I gasped for air, for release from the intense pressure inside me. I could barely stand it. And when he came, the lights above us flickered and groaned from his power. He groaned against my throat, his strokes slowing until we stood against the wall, still and quiet.

Breathless, he raised his head to stare into my face. He studied me for a long moment, eyes moving from my lips to my hairline and back down again. "What?" I whispered.

"I've never wanted anyone more than I want you." My cheeks flared at his words and I suddenly realized he was still inside me. He pulled away and let my feet fall back to the floor. My dress was ruined but I didn't care. I tucked my hair behind my ears and tried my best to smooth it down in a way that didn't expose my private areas.

"How are we going to explain this?" I asked, pushing one of the shattered cameras with my toes. I felt him step beside me and glance down at the broken device. "We won't." His arm circled my waist and turned me to face him. At first I suspected he wanted to kiss me, but now that the heat of the moment was over, he hesitated.

And now that my head wasn't clouded with the thick fog of my desire for this man, I could think clearly about the predicament I was in. "We need to talk about this plan to catch Vas." I waved a hand in the air, unsure if we even had a plan anymore. I had a feeling General Hux would pull the plug soon, leaving me stranded, married to a psychopath and leaving me without Kylo Ren. No. He wouldn't let that happen, would he?

I searched his face for an answer to my unspoken question, wishing he could promise me that he wouldn't desert me. "I don't want to talk about him." He said instead, bending to grab his helmet. He shook the sweaty hair from his eyes and slipped his mask back over his head, shutting me out completely. I blinked, taking a small step toward him as he turned his back to me.

"I do." I crossed my arms over my chest. "He's gone mad. I can't marry him, I won't be forced to carry his child!" Kylo Ren looked at me now from over his shoulder, but I couldn't tell if he was surprised to hear my words or if he was angry. He said nothing and headed down the hallway from where he came.

I sputtered and hurried after him, snatching his arm to turn him back to face me. "Don't walk away from me!"

"Be patient. It won't be long before he will fall." His static voice sent a chill down my spine. It didn't sound like a promise anymore. It felt more like he was telling me what I wanted to hear. I opened my mouth to speak but the sound of a closet door opening from behind me shut me up. He was forcing me to keep my mouth shut. I couldn't say anything in front of Mother.

As she emerged from her hiding place, oblivious to why or how she came to be in there, I pursed my lips. "If you leave me here..." I whispered through clenched teeth but I couldn't bring myself to finish my threat. Tears pricked at my eyes. He turned without a word and left me, cold and alone. I sucked in a shaking breath, hoping to hold back the barrage of tears that threatened to spill at any second.

"What are you doing down there, stupid girl?" Mother's voice boomed, startling me. I hugged my arms tighter around me, longing for the warmth I had felt earlier. I felt colder now than I ever had.

* * *

 


	14. Coming Down

Chapter 14: Coming Down

* * *

 

~ _Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?  
I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind._ _~_

* * *

I had been pacing for hours. Or what felt like hours, I wasn't exactly sure. It could have been minutes or days. I had been trapped in my bedroom since my rendezvous with Kylo Ren in the hallway. If Mother suspected anything, she never expressed it to me. I didn't know what he was capable of doing to someone's mind or if he even attempted to hide it from her at all.

Things were different now. He had been so cold to me and I was beginning to fear that he didn't intend to uphold his end of our deal. He didn't see me as anything different than a pawn that he could use. I was just another whore to him.

Angrily, I turned and walked the space of my room in front of my bed. I passed by the vanity that sat in the corner and glanced at my reflection. My skin was pale, my eyes lined with exhaustion. I had tried to force myself to eat these last few days, but I couldn't remember if I had even managed to get anything down.

A small part of me knew that if I was malnourished, my body would reject a pregnancy. Vas had visited me once since Kylo Ren had been inside me. He managed to treat me like a human this time. No bruises, no slapping, only one position and he held me afterward. It frightened me more than the beatings. Vas acting decent? It sent chills down my arms.

Frowning, I sat in the vanity stool and folded my hands in my lap. My clothes hung from my bony shoulders like rags. I hated starving myself but it was the only thing I could do now. I missed the soft, roundness of my stomach from when I was a child. I didn't want to see my ribs or hip bones. Wasn't I still a child? I couldn't even remember how old I was.

A sudden anger flared inside me like a forest fire, devastating everything in it's path. It consumed me until my hand snatched a bottle of liquid makeup. I threw it into the mirror but the shatter of glass didn't satisfy me. I stood quickly, sending the stool scraping across the cold, tile floor before it toppled over. I wrenched my dress over my head and dug through the pile of clothes that had collected in the floor beside my closet. I hadn't attempted to wash anything for two weeks.

I pulled a pair of leggings from the pile and finally found a decent tunic, dressing quickly in the items. I stood in front of the computer by the door, hoping Mother hadn't changed her access code in the passing weeks. I had only used it once, too afraid to get caught. Now, something had changed?

Did I want to get caught? I wondered what would happen to me if Vas knew I could leave my chambers...would he punish me? Or would he punish Mother? I almost wanted to find out. I punched the numbers into the screen and stepped through as the door slid open. The hallway was deserted.

There were no more whores left. I was the only one now.

The private rooms were silent, unused and neglected. I tiptoed slowly past the baths, past the hallway where I had been fucked by Kylo Ren, and crept into the common room where I used to sleep. The bunks were empty and the silence send chills down my spine. Everything looked the same. Clothes were hanging near the bunks, scarves used to decorate the space, and makeup still sitting at the vanities, waiting to be used.

I shut the door behind me and walked a circle around the room, calling out the names of the girls as I passed their bunks. Evi's was on top, across the room from me. She had small drawings tacked up on the walls and jewelry hanging above her bed. I took the chains she used to hang from her horns and slipped them over my head, letting them rest between my breasts. I touched one of the black pearls and pursed my lips.

She was dead because of me. I stole from Vas and for some reason, he never suspected me and now they were dead. I stepped around a plush couch and grabbed a few scarves that lined a bunk. I slipped my clothes off and took a small, violet dress off a hanger. The fabric fell to the floor but had a slit all the way past my hip.

The neck was cut low enough to show ample cleavage. I wrapped a scarf around my head and back around my face, pinning it behind my head so only my eyes showed.

I sat at a mirror and quickly applied some makeup to my eyes, lining them with black and red, accenuating my eyelashes and brows. It wasn't great, but it would have to do. I gave a quick look to the common room, sighed, and hurried back into the hallway. My bare feet were quiet against the tiles of the floor thought I moved quickly.

I didn't know how much time I would have, and I needed to single a soldier out as quickly as I could. If Kylo Ren wouldn't free me, then I would just have to save myself.

 

 

* * *

AN- I know this was short, but the story is winding down now and the next few chapters are going to move rather fast. Thanks for reading!

 


	15. Author's note! Very important.

Sigh. 

This story has been in my head for a long time and I really hate that it isn't flowing as easily as it used to. I love Tess, love writing her and Kylo Ren. 

I'm not abandoning this story but I am planning a rewrite. The direction I had intended to take this story just isn't happening anymore. I can't make it click and it's frustrating me and making it a chore to write anything good. And I feel like if I just crank out 5 more chapters just to finish it, it'll be an insult to all of you who have been with Tess from the beginning. 

Not a lot will change, but enough that I can't tweak this version to fit the new one. I hate that's it's come to this but I want to finish this story and I hope you will understand. I hate abandoning it but if I don't rewrite that's what it will come to. 

Again, thank you so very much for the comments, kudos and bookmarks. It is incredibly flattering and I appreciate each and every hit I get. I hope to post the new chapter of the rewrite within the next two weeks. I'll be spending my entire weekend writing, editing, and trying to update. 

Thank you!


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